To Kill a Legend: The Randy Orton Story
by shannygoat
Summary: Sequel to The Edge of Reason...SLASH warning! Serendipity returns to help Randy find true love...and to fix the mess that Edge's new muse has made of his relationship. Featuring, Orton, Edge, Cena, Muhammad Hassan and others. Contains Slash and Het.
1. Chapter 1 :Repost

Title: To Kill a Legend: The Randy Orton Story

Characters: Randy Orton, John Cena, Edge, Muhammad Hassan and WWE Diva...I'm leaving it open to anyone else who comes along.

Narrated by: Serendipity

Rating: NC-17 for language, strong sexual content, slash

Genre: Humor/Romance/Supernatural for the muse part.

Summary: Serendipity returns to help Randy fall in love...and to fix all the other crap that's screwed up thank's to Adam's new muse.

Disclaimer: I do not know, own or endorse any of the characters except Serendipity and she tells me what to write; the rest belong to TNA and WWE respectively. These characters are loosely based off of their TV personas. Thank you for not suing.

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Prologue

I know, I'm the last person you expected to hear from this evening, but really, my news is so big, I just couldn't wait! Oh, yeah…I suppose I should reintroduce myself for those of you who weren't with me before. I am Serendipity; this is really a repeat of things for the rest of you, so feel free to do something else until my introduction is complete.

Reader's Digest version of who I am…I'm a muse. I help people find true love; I almost lost my job because I fucked up big time with Adam Copeland. But no worries, he and John Cena finally got together and almost gave me a fucking heart attack in the process. I even managed to help Mark Copani realize his love for Adam. Now I think that was a great feat, but the Board of Directors begged to differ.

Ok, you old timers, you can come back now. So, I have to tell you what happened at the Hearing. First, let me start by thanking those who testified. You did a fabulous job and believe me when I say that there will be a big, ripped, muscular angel in your next dreams that I am not lying. It's just a little thank you from me to you. Remember what wet dreams are right? You can email me and tell me all about it.

Enough with the suspense, I got probation…that's it, just probation. Not suspended, not fired, and not merged with that bitch Fate; just probation. But, my probation officers are The Powers That Be. TPTB are real sons of bitches. They make the Board look like Seraphim; if you don't remember what that is, please refer back to your The Edge of Reason handbooks and look it up. TPTB don't take any shit. They watch you like a fucking hawk, so I have to be on my best behavior. You all know how hard that is for me.

Oh, and did I tell you? I got my powers upgraded. It seems that Promise, a young angel I know, could understand my pain. She too has fallen in love with a human and she knew that I was only doing what I felt was right. Well, I now have the power to walk amongst the living. I haven't used it yet, haven't needed to. But just knowing that I can blend in, taste hot cocoa, actually feel flesh on mine…I'm so fucking excited.

Now, as you may remember, when I was going over The Edge of Reason, I told you that my uncles the Cosmos had given me a new charge. Well that charge is Randy Orton. Normally, I don't discuss on going cases, but right now I am thoroughly fucked. I need your help. I can't believe I am asking for a human's help in a divine job. But truth is, I have never dealt with a stupider person in all my life.

And if I were being totally truthful, I would tell you that I can't leave Adam alone. I have _never_ abandoned a charge after the case was closed. I like to check in on them from time to time. Being that Adam and Randy are friends, well, I think it's only right that still protect his interests. After all, no where in my probation does it say stay away from him. And even if Kismet is his new charge; fuck her. She's too busy trying to make them fuck all the time that she is paying absolutely no attention to the fact that Adam and John's relationship is seriously lacking.

But, this isn't about Adam and John. Well, not really although they are a part of it…and Mark too. This is really about Randy.

Now where to begin? Randy wanted love…you know that...decided to be gay…already told you that... found his prostate…you got a laugh from that…I started molesting him in his sleep…mixed feelings about that; ah yes, let's start right here. I'll pick up right after the night he spent with Mickie and Mark. Seems like as good of a place as any, besides, you know most of the stuff leading up to that point.

Time frame in mind? Good, let's get on with it. So, without the grandiose set up, here's what I've working on since I took him as a charge. I'll give you the background and work my way up to the present. The title of this report is called To Kill a Legend: The Randy Orton Story.

I swear, if he doesn't kill himself, he's going to kill me in the process…

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Randy Orton opened his eyes and scanned the dark around him. This had to stop, every morning at 2:15, he found himself awake. He didn't know why it was always 2:15. All he knew was every night he slept peacefully, experiencing the best dreams he ever had, then suddenly he wake up when the feeling of warmth left his body. It wasn't that he was cold, he just missed whatever kept him warm before.

Looking at the clock, he sighed. "Fuck." Harshly closing his eyes, he rolled over and let his hand contact the body next to him in bed.

With a smile on his face, he nodded. _Kelly could be the one. She's perfect. She's nice, she smells good, and she even does that little flirty thing with her eyes. Yeah, Kim's amazing. I mean, she road the Orton Express like there was no fucking tomorrow. I could use to this; having Kayla wake up every morning next to me. _He pulled the covers down from her body and smiled in approval. _Man, Kristen's got great tits...and a firm ass. _He allowed himself to squeeze said ass as he finished his musings. _I wonder what her last name is. It doesn't matter, she'll be Kylie Orton…I like the sound of that. _

Touching the brunette that lay next to him, Randy gently nuzzled her neck. With a smile, the woman opened her eyes and he kissed her softly.

"I gotta go. My husband will be getting off work soon." The woman said as she started to get out the bed.

Randy felt all of his dreams of marriage and family float out that bed with her. Resting on his elbow, he looked at his latest conquest. "Are you sure? It's only like 2:30."

With a smile the brunette nodded her head as she patted around on the floor for her underwear. "Yeah, he drives a truck. He should be heading through Boston soon. I need to shower and get in bed before he gets there."

Randy felt as though he was going to cry. How could she just love him and leave him like that? What the fuck was her problem? At least, he always stayed the entire night with women that he picked up, if for nothing else, just so he wouldn't have to sleep alone. Plus, he really liked early morning sex.

"Kira, wait." He said as he pulled the covers off of him to stop her.

The woman turned around confused. "What did you call me?" There was no hurt in her voice, but she was definitely caught off guard by that name.

"Um, Kelsey?" No, that wasn't right. Why couldn't he remember her name? _Great Orton, there goes your future wife and you can't remember her fucking name. _Although he was sure it started with a K, he couldn't for the life of him remember it.

The brunette walked to the door and opened it. "I had a good time Randy, and I really loved the show. But, this is wrong. I shouldn't let you bring me back here…I'm not a ring rat."

Nodding Randy let her finish. He had heard it all before from the other hundred ring rats he had met after last night's Raw. "I know. That's why I picked you, because you weren't like them." A little lie goes a long way.

With a smile, she opened the door and turned to Randy. "And my name is Bridgette."

Flopping back on the bed, Randy looked at the ceiling again. "Why the fuck can't I fall in love with a woman whose name I can remember and who's not fucking married?" As silence answered him, he clutched his pillow and forced himself to sleep.

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So you see I have my work cut out for me. Part of the problem is Randy's libido was off the charts. I had to find a way to curtail it, so that we could actually find someone for him to love.

It's a bumpy confusing ride, so be prepared. Dealing with him, I'm likely to interrupt your lives several times a day. I suggest you take notes, because I am looking to you for help. And remember any advice you give me is between us, but know that I am being watched by TPTB, so try not to have me break the rules again. Contrary to popular belief, I actually love my job.

And just so there's no mistaking, I've stopped sleeping with him, but that doesn't stop me from cuddling…

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_Author's note:_

_Here's the spin-off, which might turn in to more of a sequel. My Adam and John muse is not happy, especially since Rated RKO, looks so fucking hot together...anyway, I'm not giving anything away this time, just sit back and enjoy. _

_I really don't know if I can come close to rekindling the magic of The Edge of Reason, but I'll try. I won't be updating a lot at first because right now, I'm obsessing over The Concubine, and I'm working on Maintaining Perfection. As soon as that's done, it'll be full steam ahead!_

_Enjoy!_

_Shanny_


	2. Introduction to Stupidity

_Author's Note: Ok, this chapter came to me in a dream, so if it doesn't make sense, that' s why. But; it's Randy, so it really shouldn't make sense. It'll start to come together I hope. Let me know if you like it._

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Introduction to Stupidity

So now that we're all together and you know what I'm up against, how about we just dive right into it? Ok, let's see, Randy was trying to fall in love and it wasn't going to well. I decided that I needed to find out what kind of person he wanted to be with. See, that whole him wanting to be gay thing still plagued me…but to be quite truthful, it was fucking hot so I wasn't ruling it out.

I took the ultimate plunge; I decided to have a conversation with an idiot. If anyone ever tells you that the only stupid questions are the ones that are unasked, they are fucking morons. Try having a conversation with Randy and you'll see what I mean.

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Randy sat on the bed of his hotel flipping through the channels. As it happened, MTV was running a marathon of Ren & Stimpy. Now I love that show as much as the next person, hell, I'm the muse that gave them the idea for the Space Madness episode (some of my best work if I do say so myself). But, it was something about the way he watched it that bothered me. It was as if he was hung on every word that Stimpy said.

I sat next to him and spoke in a low ominous voice, I needed to get inside his head, but unfortunately his head is empty. Normal people hear us speaking to them as their conscious, but Randy being the idiot savant that he is, actually heard _me_.

"Randy, what do you want?" I asked, thinking I was talking to his heart.

He looked around the room and then at the TV.

"Stimpy? Is that you?" He asked staring at the screen. He stood up and walked to the television. He touched the screen feeling the static cling to his fingers. "Stimpy?" He whispered again.

"You can hear me? You're not supposed to be able to hear me." I said feeling panicked. You must understand, I don't panic…ever.

"I can hear you Stimpy. What's up, need help?" He sat in front of the TV, worshiping a cartooned cat. "Why do you let Ren treat you like that?"

God he's stupid. If you'll remember I told you before one of the rules with charges is I can't reveal myself…so I lied. "Yes Randy, I'm Stimpy…a cartoon cat; here to talk to you about love."

Randy sat on the floor like a child on Saturday morning. He crossed his legs Indian style and spoke to the television. "Really? You want some pointers? I mean, the chicks on your show kinda suck, but I can help you out if you want."

All I could do was pray for the boy. It's really too bad a man with such a small brain is so well endowed. I needed to make this as simple as possible for him. "I'm good in the love department, but I hear that you're having some trouble."

His eyes grew open in amazement. "How'd you know?" Was it that bad? He couldn't figure out if everybody in cartoonville actually knew how fucked up his love life was. "I mean, don't get me wrong…I get plenty of ass. In fact, this chick I banged last night, she was fucking perfect. She had this ass, like…" And he motioned toward the TV to show the cartoon just how round her bottom was. "And these breast…" Again with the hand movements. "But then she left." He finished sadly.

Ok, so this approach wasn't working. I already knew this part. I needed a glimpse into what it was that he actually wanted. "I thought you like sleeping with random women."

Randy thought about it for a minute. Hell, if Stimpy was talking to him from the great beyond, he wasn't about to lie to him. "Well, I like getting off, but it's getting boring. Everybody I know is falling in love. And I just kinda wish I could too. I just want a girl that will love me, no matter what. Is that so bad?"

No Randy, it's not. I swear, I still had a soft spot for him. What I wouldn't give to have him become divine; but could you imagine the ramifications on the rest of the world if this numbskull got powers? "Well about a guy? Did you enjoy that night with Mark?"

Randy nodded. "It was cool. I learned some good stuff. You know that gay thing; I'm still on the fence with it. I mean, I like girls, you know…I _really_ like girls. But, I like my prostate too, because that shit's fucking amazing."

"Did you like being with a man, Randy?" I repeated because God forbid, I let him go off on a tangent.

"Copani's cool, I like him. But he's so hung up on _Smiles_," Randy whined Adam's nickname informing me that he wasn't so keen on Mark wanting Adam as he led others to believe, "that he wouldn't give me the fucking time of day."

"Do you have feelings for Mark?"

"I don't think so. I mean, I don't know if I should be sharing this with you, Stimp, but the guys fucking packing. I may be new to this whole bottoming thing, but I don't think my ass could take being with him again." Randy walked over to his duffel bag and pulled out his infamous toy, Lucius II. "See, this is Lucius…well not really, the first one got broke, but anyway, I kinda got use to this and its great. But actually being with a guy, it's so much different. It's better because they fucking hit that shit and it's like… fuck! But, I don't really like that whole giving head part. Mickie showed me how to do it, and even though his balls weren't in my face, I still knew they were there."

By this time I had a headache. I didn't know what the fuck Randy was talking about. Did he like Mark or not? Did he want to be with a woman or a man? Sometimes, it's better to just cut to the chase.

"Ok, Randy, let's try it this way. What do you want in a partner? I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, what kind of person do you want them to be?" Maybe this way, he could stop thinking about sex for moment and concentrate on the issue at hand.

"Well…I want someone that will love me." Randy's answer was simple. No long list of demands, no preferences, just simply to be loved. That shouldn't be so hard, right.

"Then what's the problem?" I asked him, sitting down in front of him, looking into his blue eyes, wanting nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and kiss him until he had to gasp for air. Oh shit…please stop me from going off. If you don't this could take much longer than it has to.

Randy leaned his back against the bed and let his head touch the mattress. "People don't take me seriously." He said in a sad voice. "I'm good enough to come to for advise and for some reason, I can help other people with their love life. But when it comes to me…I'm known to be a good fuck; that's it. Truth be told, I _am_ pretty phenomenal, but I wish I could be more."

Just then I had a brilliant idea. "Then let's make people take you serious."

Randy stood up too. "You're really going to help me?" Just as he looked at the screen, the Stimpy character nodded at a question that Ren asked. Randy took it as a sign. "Stimpy, you're the best. If you ever need help, I'll kick Ren's ass for you."

"Um, thanks?" I said. There's really no protocol for dealing with a charge when he believes you're really a cartoon character helping him with his love life.

Randy walked over to the mirror and looked at himself and smiled. "I'm gonna fall in love." He was so happy that I couldn't help but to be happy for him. "So what's first?"

"First, no sex." The look on his face was something straight out of a horror movie. "I mean it, no sex. You're upset because people only want to sleep with you. Stop sleeping around and we fix that problem. The next step is find out what turns you on, in your head and your heart; not your groin."

Randy turned back to the TV and stared at the picture. "Why Stimp, why?" But as I would have it, the show ended and all Randy was left with were commercials.

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Ok, so now, I had laid the ground rules. Randy was no longer allowed to have sex. I'll admit to you, not the TPTB that I took a sadistic pleasure in knowing that this would be the hardest (no pun intended) thing that Randy would ever have to do.

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"Hey Orton." Adam said with a smile on his face as Randy opened the door. "Dude, you look like someone just stole your bike. What's up?"

Randy closed the door behind Adam and flopped back on his bed. "I'm giving up sex." He said with a huff.

Adam laughed out loud. "Why? Dude, you can't go 24 hours without getting laid; what the fuck are talking about."

"You know how I told you that girls just wanna fuck me? Well I figure if I don't fuck anymore then they won't like me for that." The nerve of him acting like this was idea. Men…

Adam sat down next to him. "Well, what about the being friends first? You _could_ try that instead of going cold turkey."

It wasn't enough…Stimpy said, no sex. "If I tell you something, would you promise not to tell anybody?" He asked looking at Adam.

Adam nodded. Of course he wouldn't tell. Randy had become his confidant these last few months. He was one of the catalysts that finally brought him and John together. "I swear."

"My TV talked to me." Randy got off the bed and walked to the TV, touching the monitor. "I was just watching it and then Ren & Stimpy came on and then Stimpy started talking to me and he told me I can't have sex anymore." He felt relieved that he could get it off his chest. But the look on Adam's face made Randy second guess his confession.

"Are you still smoking pot? Dude, you're gonna get suspended again." Adam said seriously.

"Fuck you…I'm not high. My fucking TV talked to me." Randy said with an attitude. "I swear, just before you came in here, Stimpy was fucking talking to me."

Adam could tell by Randy's expression that he actually believed it. Leave it to Adam to finally get his love life in order and start thinking rationally. I tell you; sometimes I'm a little too good at my job.

"So…you're gonna take advice from a cat that gets his ass beat on every episode? Dude, he's an idiot." Adam walked over to Randy and put his arm around his shoulder. "Come on. Let's go get some breakfast. I think you've been spending too much time alone."

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So this is where I'll stop. I had the plan, and Adam fucked it up. Why is it that whenever I line my ducks in a row, one of these guys always starts shooting them down. I swear, I could solve these cases in half the time, if people would just let me do my fucking job.

When we meet next, you'll find out why I said that Adam and John are going to have problems. And I'll tell you all about Mark and Randy. Don't think I haven't been reading the emails. You want to know what actually happened between him and Mark and Mickie. Well, for shits and giggles, I'll fill you in.


	3. Strip Club Confession repost

**This chapter contains sexual content.**

Strip Club Confessions

You must forgive me for rounding you up at this ungodly hour, but really, I need to get on with it. The way I see it, if I give you the background then you can help me with the present, but if I wait too long then the present becomes the past and well…I'm still just giving you background. Does that make sense? God I hope so… If I seem a bit scatterbrained it's because Randy had me up all hours of the night; we really must work on getting him to sleep at a decent hour.

Anyway, since it's been a while since we've met, here's a brief recap. Randy needed help in the love department, had trouble with waking up at 2:15 every morning, woke up next to a woman who he thought he wanted to marry but couldn't remember her name, was convinced that his TV was talking to him and Stimpy was his angel, and decided to become celibate, and Adam tried to convince him he was on pot and fucked up my plan. Why is it that when it comes to Randy is everything always so complicated?

Ok, so now that we're all together, take out your notebooks…you're going to need to take some serious notes.

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After only two weeks of celibacy, Randy Orton was losing his fucking mind. That's not true, in order to lose one's mind; we have to assume that there was once a mind to start with. Let me rephrase that…after only two weeks of celibacy, Randy was going crazy. That's much better.

It had only been 14 days, for most people that's not long at all, but for Randy it was an eternity. He stopped sleeping, eating and shaving…everything he did reminded him that he wasn't getting laid. Work was especially hard for him. He'd successfully banged all of the Divas on Raw and 1/3 of Smackdown and seeing the Divas everyday, wearing close to nothing, was enough to make him want to jump out of his own skin. And to top it off, he hadn't heard from Stimpy since that time in Boston.

He sat in the lobby of Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Vegas thinking of ways to end it all. He was in fucking Vegas…Sin City…The World Skankiest Town…and what was he doing? Waiting for Copeland to go see _Wayne Newton_.

_I don't even know who the fuck Wayne Newton is! But if he had tickets to see Celine Dion I'd be so in. She's not that hot and has a big fucking nose, but I'd bang the shit out of her. I wonder if she can hit a high C? After an Orton Injection, she'd be hitting all the fucking notes on the piano. Stop it Orton, no sex, don't think about sex…think about little fluffy bunnies._ Randy leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, he let the thoughts of bunnies over take his mind. At first they were happily frolicking in the field, but once over the briar patch, the disco music started the rabbits shed out of their fur coats revealing lingerie and chaps. _Yeah, hit that shit Thumper…Who's your daddy now Jessica? Jessica Rabbit, that's a bitch that I would bend over backwards. _

Randy jumped up from his seat when he heard his name being called. As soon as he turned around, his heart started to race. "Copani? What the fuck are you doing here?" It's not that he wasn't happy to see Mark, they were still really good friends. It's just that he hadn't seen Mark since that night.

Mark embraced Randy in a 'man hug', really I don't understand that. I know why women hug and stick their rumps out, it's because we don't want to rub uglies with other women. But what is that man hug about. Do they think keeping an arm between them, prevents them from looking gay? Tangent…you really need to keep me on track.

"Smiles didn't tell you? I got picked up. I'm starting on Heat, but I'm wrestling as myself." Mark said as he sat down next to Randy. "So what are you doing down here by yourself?"

Randy shook his head. " Wayne fucking Newton. I mean, who the fuck is that anyway? I know Copeland's your boy and all, but who the fuck gets tickets to see that guy?"

Mark laughed. "Oh Orton, to be young and dumb. You ain't got anything better to do tonight then hang out with Smiles?"

"Nope."

"No Divas to knock down? No Vegas showgirls that haven't met the little Legend?" Mark asked punching Randy in the arm.

Randy closed his eyes. For the 32 seconds he talked to Mark he didn't think about sex. But now, it was back on the forefront of his mind. "Fuck this. I ain't going."

Just as Randy started to get up, Adam and John made their way out of the elevator. It seemed that as of late, the two of them were late for everything. It might have something to do with the fact that Kismet found nothing more pleasurable then watching the two of them go at it. And literally, that's all they did…all the fucking time…everyday…morning, noon and night…fuck, fuck, fuck…

Mark took in Adam's rosy complexion, seeing the still glistening sheen of perspiration on his face. He knew right away that Adam and John had just been together. "Hey Smiles." Mark said slightly lowering his eyes and trying not to blush.

"Copani, you made it." Adam replied walking over to Mark and hugging him, tightly. No man hug involved there.

Mark pulled away and looked at Cena. "Cena." He said flatly, turning his attention back to Adam.

John didn't respond, he only nodded in Mark's general direction, before taking a seat next to Randy. "So man, what up? You ready to burn this bitch down?"

Randy sighed. "Yeah, with fucking Wayne Newton. Who the fuck is that?"

Adam shook his head. He had no real intentions of taking Randy to see Wayne Newton, but if he had told Randy what the real plan was, he knew he would back out. Randy was convinced that he couldn't have sex, but the only way for Randy to fall in love was to be around girls. So Adam used this little Wayne Newton rouse to get Randy to agree to go out with them.

"Don't worry about it. Come on." Adam said, walking out the door, talking to Mark and leaving John and Randy to follow.

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Now normally, I enjoy when Mark, Randy and Adam get together, but it seemed a little stiff with John there. Mainly because John's…well, he's John. He was still moody, still macho, still somewhat of a dick. But he's cute, so I could easily overlook that.

What I couldn't overlook however was the fact that Mark and Adam sat next to each other and Adam paid John no attention, while Mark was there.

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"So Wayne Newton sings at a titty bar?" Randy asked as he motioned for another beer. He had just checked his watch and they had been there for a total of 12 minutes and already he was on his second beer. There was too much ass floating past his table. Randy didn't know what to do?

"No asshole. We brought you here, so you could hook up." John said patting Randy's shoulder. "You're fucking boring when you're not getting laid."

Randy made a face at John and rolled his eyes. "Well just because I don't fuck like rabbits, like you two; doesn't make me boring." As soon as he thought about rabbits, the disco music started in his head and the bunny orgy commenced. He let a goofy smile cross his face as he thought about Bugs bending over Daffy.

"So, here's the deal. You tried to help me when John and I were going through all that shit. So, we're gonna help you." Adam motioned to the room. "There's a room full of horny young ladies. Take your pick."

Randy looked around casually and then back at Adam. "Stimpy said no sex. What part of no sex don't you understand?" Randy was determined to be taken seriously. "I want someone to fall in love with me, and if they can't because I keep nailing everybody then I have to stop sleeping around."

"But how are they supposed to even know you exist, if you hide from them completely?" Mark asked seriously. "I'll admit, you do fuck more than _anybody_ I've ever met, but completely avoiding women isn't gonna make them fall in love with you."

Mark's words made sense, but Randy was told no sex. The only way he knew not to have sex, was not to be around women. It was basic logic. He sent off pheromones that women fell over themselves for, if he removed the temptation, he could get one to fall in love with him.

"Well who says I want a woman?" That was the only defense Randy could come up with. My words to him about if he enjoyed being with a man, played heavily on him. He didn't know if he enjoyed it. It wasn't a bad experience, but he wasn't sure if that meant he wanted to give up tits.

Adam shook his head. "Orton, we've been through this. You're not gay…you don't like men." He looked at Randy and noticed how he diverted his eyes. Adam's head popped up and he raised his brows in question. "Wait a minute…did you sleep with a guy?"

John turned around to look at Randy. "Holy shit. You did." John looked back at Adam and laughed. "Well? Did you like it?"

What was with that question? In my opinion, what was not to like? Two hot boys, rubbing their sweaty muscles against one another, kissing, becoming vulnerable under each others touch, large hand groping flesh…I know, I know, I'm sorry.

Randy glanced and Mark and put his down his head. He tried to control his blush, but it crept from his face down to his neck. Even his ears turned red.

The subtle glance to Mark did not go unnoticed by Adam. Adam looked over at Mark, who quickly turned his eyes away. Adam may be blonde and may play an idiot on TV, but he didn't just come out of the closet yesterday. Adam waved his finger between Mark and Randy. "You didn't." He shook his head and turned to Mark. "Orton?" He looked at Randy, who had turned around in his chair as if Adam wouldn't remember the question he just asked him. Getting no where, Adam looked back at Mark. "Copani?" There was genuine hurt in Adam's voice, when he said Mark's name.

Well John was happy as a pig in shit. If Mark slept with Randy, that meant he was over Adam. It was about time. Still, the sound in Adam's voice bothered John. "So…what happened?" Maybe the gory details would sever this imaginary connection between the best friends, and finally John wouldn't feel like he had to compete.

"I don't know what happened. There was alcohol and Mickie…and then blowjobs…it's all a blur." Randy shot out as if that was going to stop the inquisition.

Adam pursed his lips. "Spill it." He said to Mark. He knew he wouldn't get a straight answer from Randy.

Mark shrugged and shook his head. He wasn't the type to kiss and tell, but this was Smiles. He would walk across hot coals for this man. "It was that night that all that shit went down in the locker-room. Mickie was at my place and Brianiac came over. We were just talking and shit happened."

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That's the story that Mark gave, but let me tell you what really happened.

Randy asked Mickie if she would be into them all being together, Mark agreed. Mickie proceeded to show Randy how to give a blowjob without getting balls in his face. She started by demonstrating on Randy, while Mark watched. Being a man and all, Mark got, shall we say, excited. With Mickie's great skill, she continued to please Randy, while reaching over and undoing Mark's pants. It was fucking brilliant; she did it with one hand.

Well, once Mark was no longer confined, she motioned with her head at Randy toward him. Randy arched his brow and looked over at Mark, who in turn shrugged; it really wasn't a smooth transition. Randy eventually leaned over and slowly took Mark into his mouth. He mimicked the same movements that Mickie made on him. I don't need to tell you that that couch wasn't big enough for all three of them.

Slowly, Mickie let up from Randy and sat back and watched as Mark buried his hands in Randy's short hair. Randy was a fast learner, if at nothing else, he excelled in anything sexual. She enjoyed the show so much, that she happily laid on the floor and started to pleasure herself watching them.

Mark couldn't take his eyes off of her. He pulled Randy's head up and trapped Randy in the Orton Oral Gratifier. Randy was amazed. He had never had it performed on him and damn that was a good kiss. But, the soft sounds of Mickie getting off, quickly diverted Randy's attention. Randy shed the rest of his clothing and joined Mickie on the floor.

Mark watched them for awhile, and then he too joined in. All I can tell you was, there was a mass of bodies constantly changing positions. Mark hovered over Mickie's face as she sucked him off and Randy showed her what the real use of his mouth was for. The next thing I know, both Mickie and Randy were attacking Mark's body like it held the antidote for some exotic disease.

The moment of truth came when Randy had Mickie on all fours, pounding into her. Mark came out of nowhere and started to lick Randy's back, pushing him over ever so slightly and then, all Randy saw were stars. It was like Mark had GPS tracking, because on the first stroke, he hit Randy's prostate.

Randy came almost immediately, but Mark was far from over. Mark made love to Randy as if he were Adam. Everything he wanted Adam to do to him, he did to Randy. And when it was over and everyone caught their breath, Randy rolled over and gave it right back to him. This time, they didn't even need Mickie, not that she minded watching. And no one spoke of that day, since.

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"I can't believe you had sex with Orton." Adam said as they walked back to the hotel room. The night had been a bust. After hearing the news about their little tryst, Adam wasn't really up for helping Randy. He was hurt; Mark betrayed him.

Mark stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "Smiles, it was one night. You're with John, what do you care?" He pleaded with Adam's eyes. "It didn't mean anything."

"Thanks." Randy said hurt, putting his head down and walking back into the hotel. _Even a fucking dude thinks that's all I'm good for._

Mark sighed and followed Randy, leaving Adam and John on the street. "What the fuck? Why do you care so much?" John asked.

"He's my best friend. I don't want him to get hurt." Adam defended.

John shook his head. That was bullshit and we all could smell it. "Or maybe _you_ don't want to get hurt if they end up together."

Adam stood alone on the sidewalk. He had no idea what the fuck just happened.

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With that, I'll leave you. I have so much more to tell you. But for now, Randy's in the shower and I haven't seen any skin in a few weeks. I won't touch him, I promise…well, maybe just a little touch; but I promise I won't enjoy it.

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_Author's note: I'm sorry it's taking me so long with this story. I have some serious writers block. Writing Randy as a main character is hard, because he's supposed to be funny. It's hard to make him funny, all the time. I've got a few ideas, but I have to sort through them. This is way more challenging than I thought. But I'm always up for a good challenge!_

_Hope this chapter didn't suck balls!_

_Shanny_


	4. Formulating Plans

Formulating Plans

Sorry for yet another meeting, but as I said, we have a lot to cover if you're going to help me with this Randy fiasco. You know, my plans always look so good on paper, but when you actually apply methodology to humans, you people always find a way to fuck it up.

So now, let's see, ah yes…Randy couldn't fall in love, decided to be celibate, was taken out to a strip club where he confessed to sleeping with Mark, and Adam got jealous. Then Mark hurt Randy by telling Adam that it didn't mean anything and John got pissed because of Adam's concern.

You know, in my mind it would just work out perfectly if I could get Adam, John, Randy and Mark to all fuck each other. I don't care who tops or who blows whom…all I want to see is those naked boys cause some serious damage. But of course things never work out how I want them to. If I ever get the chance to do this life again, I'd like to come back as a Seraphim…they have so much more power. They can actually manipulate situations. Can you imagine what I'd do, if I held all of that power in my little hands?

Ok, so enough with the set up. I knew I had to get my ass in gear. Randy was on a downward spiral and when Randy's unhappy, Randy fucks anything that crosses his path…

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In less than five minutes, Randy had managed to completely make a mess of his hotel room. He couldn't remember which suitcase he had put the DVDs in; so in a fit of heightened frenzy, he decided to empty them all. Clothes were strewn across the room, shit on the dressers had been knocked off, but finally Randy came across what he was searching for.

He opened the first of the five discs that read, _The Best of Ren & Stimpy_. He was pissed that I, well…_Stimpy_ to him, had not returned to help. He put on the first movie and watched for a few moments and laughed at their antics. When Stimpy didn't come to him, Randy fast forwarded.

_Maybe it's not the right one. Maybe I should find that episode that was on before._ Randy zoomed through all five discs, before finding the one episode he was looking for. I'll admit, I felt bad for the man. If nothing else, he went through all of this, just to talk to a cartoon. The least I could do was talk to him again.

"This bullshit, Stimpy. Where the fuck are you?" He asked his television with anger. He threw the remote onto the bed and flopped down. "You said you'd help me, but I haven't heard from you. What the fuck do you want from me? I was good, I haven't fucked anybody. Why aren't I in love yet?"

I stood next to the dresser and looked down on the beautiful imbecile that laid on the bed. "How do you suppose you should fall in love if you haven't allowed yourself to be around other people?"

Randy sat up with a bolt. "Stimpy? Well it's about fucking time." I could tell by his tone of voice that he was not a happy camper.

"I'm sorry I'm late. But, this isn't about me. Have you done what I said? Have you figured out what turns you on in your heart?"

Randy looked the TV as if it had sprouted antennas. He was taking advice from Stimpy; that should have been his first clue that things were not going to be easy. "Let me tell you something, Stimp" He pointed his finger at the screen. "…first off, this not fucking thing; it ain't working for me. I'm losing my fucking mind. All I can think about is ass. I want some. I need some…my dick is gonna fall off if I don't fuck something soon." Randy stood and walked directly in front the TV, pausing on Stimpy's face. "Second…I don't know what turns me on. If I could just find someone that loved me, I know I would love them back. I'm easy…I can deal with pretty much anything."

"Randy, that was not part of the plan." I needed to remind him that we had bigger things to worry about than what was growing in his pants. But then again I know how limited his mind was and I knew it would be difficult for him.

Randy brought his face directly in front of the screen. "Your plan, fucking sucks, it's fucking up my life. I'm no closer to being in love than was before. First Copeland thinks I'm on drugs, now Cena's mad at him. And to top it off, Copani fucking told Copeland that that night we spent together didn't mean shit to him. I can't even get a dude to want to be with me." He turned away from the screen and looked at his room. "All I wanted was to find _somebody_ that would love me, no matter what. But you know what, fuck that. I don't need this shit."

I had never really seen Randy pissed off before. Well, unless you count that time that John cock-blocked and prevented Randy from nailing Shelton. I have to admit, he's damn sexy when he's pissed.

"What are you planning to do?"

"I'm getting laid. I'll make somebody fall in love with me one way or another." Randy quickly picked up his room and reached for his keys.

I knew this was a mistake, but he wasn't in the mood to listen. "This is not the way to do it. You have to trust me."

He turned back to face the TV. "You ain't never rode the Orton Express, have you? Oh, I'll turn 'em out…and then sit back and choose."

I watched him go and knew this was going to be long night.

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Sitting in the bar watching Randy stalk helpless prey was fucking boring. So, I decided to check in on Adam. I just wanted to know if he and John had made up yet. When I got to the room, John and Adam were in the midst of a heated argument.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Adam asked flinging his hair back from his face. "You're pissed because I don't want to see my best friend get hurt if he hooks up with Orton? Do you even know Orton? He uses everybody. Copani's a nice guy…he wears his heart on his sleeve. I don't want him to get hurt."

John narrowed his eyes at Adam. "Do I look like a fuckin' idiot to you? You put me through all this shit to be together, but as soon as you find out that he was with Orton, you have a fuckin' heart attack. What is it Adam? You wanted to be his first? You wanna fuck him?"

Adam looked around the room, he was sure Ashton Kutcher was going to come jumping out of the closet with the cast of Punk'd in tow. He waited, but it was no such luck. "Are you jealous, is that it? Well let me clear this up for you, John. I don't want Copani…I want you. I wouldn't have gone through all this shit for the past six months if I wanted to be with Copani."

John sat on the bed as he tried to calm his anger. "The guy's in love with you. And I might not be that in touch with my feelings, but I know that you feel something for him too. I ain't fuckin' stupid. Ain't no way in hell, the two of you can be as close as you are and not feel somethin'. So let me make real clear; if you wanna be with him, go, but don't expect me to be sittin' around waitin' for your ass to come back."

"What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't do anything. I asked the guy a question and you're freaking the fuck out." Adam walked over to the bed and sat next to John. "Baby, if we don't have trust, then we don't have anything. I don't want Copani, I love you." He turned John's face toward his and looked into his blue eyes. "I love you." He whispered.

John closed his eyes and felt stupid for blowing up at Adam. "I just don't want to lose you, is all. It took so long for me to admit that I had feelings for you and even longer to be able to _be_ with you. I just need to make sure that it was for a reason, that you're gonna be here _with_ me and not go running to him."

Adam kissed John and touched his forehead to his. "You don't have anything to worry about. I'm not going anywhere."

It was that admission that should have made a better muse understand that Adam was full of shit. Kismet is about as useless as they come. In fact, she wasn't even there for this whole argument. As long as they were clothed, she could give a flying fuck about what Adam and John were doing. It was no surprise that after they made up and the clothes started to fly off, did her worthless ass reappear.

I still had an insight to Adam's mind and I read it like a fucking book. Adam was going to help Randy fall in love, but he was going to make damn sure that it wasn't with Mark. While John on the other hand had his own plans; he was going to get them together, whether Adam liked it or not.

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My eyes bugged out of my head, when I finally found Randy. Can you believe in the 10 minutes that I was in Adam's room, he had already convinced Ashley to come back to his room and he was already fucking her? That has got to be a record somewhere. Still, never one to pass up free porn; I watched silently.

Randy took his time, moving slowly with the tight confines of Ashley's body. He smirked when he saw her face twisted in pleasure. She was into it, he had her right where he wanted her. Orgasm number one hit with a blinding force, and Randy was unaffected. For years he had been practicing the skill of 3:1. Three orgasm for his partner before he even broke a sweat. Normally, men have to think about other things to keep from spilling, but Randy's mind is usually blank, so he doesn't concentrate on anything. Instead he goes into the empty crevices of his head and lives there quite happily, while leaving his partner completely satisfied.

"She won't fall in love with you." I whispered across the room, causing his head to pop up.

"Not now Stimp." Randy said in a rushed voice as he continued to show Ashley why he was the Legend Killer.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "What?"

"Nothing." Randy said as he moved her legs around to enter her from the side.

I couldn't watch…it was going to be traumatic. "She's just using you."

Randy stopped and sat up on the bed. Ashley sat up too, she couldn't figure out what had happened. "What's wrong?" She touched his shoulder with her lips.

"Why are you here?" Randy asked quietly. Granted, I wouldn't be taking advice from cartoons in the middle of sex, but this was Randy. "Is there gonna be anything more to this, than _this_?"

Ashley had always thought that Randy was a cool guy. It's not like they had a real friendship and it was certainly not that he felt anything toward her. Why shouldn't she tell the truth? "Look Orton, a couple of girls told me that you were a really good time. And they were right. Plus I was kinda hoping that if I slept with you, Matt would get jealous and we'd get back together. "She moved around to sit in front of him. "You don't mind do you?"

Randy smirked. This _was_ his reputation; he would knock down any girl no matter the reason. "No. I don't mind." It was the biggest lie he had ever told. He did mind, and because Ashley didn't care for him, he minded because _nobody_ cared for him.

"Good." She said with a giggle and pushed him back down on the bed. Randy watched as she rode the Orton Express and said nothing. He no longer cared about 3:1, he just wanted to nut and have her get the fuck out.

He almost cringed when she thanked him for a good evening and walked out of the room. He laid back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. There had to be more to life than this.

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I couldn't take it anymore; I know there are rules to be followed. But I also knew that at the time, the Board was taking a much needed sabbatical. I figured, really what was the harm? Randy was an idiot and no one would believe him anyway.

I may have broken the non-disclosure rule, but the TPTB need not know that. Actually, it was before they became my watchdogs so technically, anything I did before them during that limbo period, I can't be held accountable for, right? That's how I'm justifying it, anyway.

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I laid next to Randy on the bed and stroked his head. "This isn't the way to find love."

He looked around the room trying to find the source of the feeling. I swear, I'd like to know how the hell he does that. He didn't seem surprised; after all, I had been touching him a lot more and in much more graphic ways over the last few weeks.

"I ain't in the mood, Stimpy." Randy said angrily getting out of the bed.

I had just about enough of this Stimpy non-sense. I was going to come clean, let him in on who I really was. Maybe then he would listen. "I am not Stimpy, Randy. Do you really think that a cartoon could help you with your love life?"

Randy walked to the mirror and took a good hard look. "Oh no, then who are you?"

"I'm a muse."

"Why, what's so funny?" He turned his back from his reflection and stared out into the room. He folded his arms against his chest and leaned back on the wall, waiting for my answer.

I was having a hard time answering the question, because he was standing there naked. But once I was able to divert my eyes from his lower half, I managed to speak. "I'm not _amused_, Randy. I'm _a_ muse. You know, like a guardian angel." There was really no point in going into the whole choir of angels and who begot whom. It really would have been a wasted effort.

Randy turned back to his reflection and laughed. "A guardian angel; yeah right. Now I know, I have fucked my brains out." He recounted all of the times that people had told him he was going to do just that. And now, it had actually happened, he thought his brains, what little there were, had slipped out with his last orgasm. It was actually easier for him to believe that cartoon could help him and not me.

I stroked his hair. It's too bad all those looks were wasted on a brainless imbecile. He started to look around again as if he could feel me touch him. "Oh God, I'm going crazy." He got on his knees and prayed. "God, please forgive me…I know I sleep around too much and I know that I cheated on my taxes last year. But please, please don't let me go crazy. I'm hearing voices and I swear people are touching me…oh, what if it's like the Sixth Sense…that would fucking hot."

"You can't say fucking while you're praying." I blurted out.

"Well excuse me." He said standing placing his hand on his hip. "Ok, if I'm not going crazy then tell me something about me that I don't even know."

This was a trick question, but he's stupid so it didn't matter. "Um, you have sex more than anybody else on the planet."

Randy laughed. "Everybody fucking knows that. You're gonna have to come with something better if you want me to believe you."

"You are so much more than what is between your legs." I stated bluntly.

He looked around and hung his head. All of his life he had wanted someone to notice that in him, though his actions did not justify it. Randy was a man that wanted to be understood, granted the person to understand that would either have to have the patience of Job or be a fucking moron too. But, we'll have to wait to figure that part out.

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Well, that's how the story goes so far. I know, still nothing got resolved. All I can tell you is Adam and John are far from being in the clear and Mark continues to be a sore spot in their relationship. I'll tell you why, the next time we meet. And please don't feel sad for Randy, things get better, well they do for a little while.

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_Author's note: Sorry about the lag between updates, I'm still struggling. I managed to piece this together. I can't stop obsessing over my other stories right now, but I got some inspiration during Edge and Cena's match last week. Anyway, I'm off for the next 12 days, so hopefully I get more written._

_Shanny_


	5. Good Intentions

_A/N: Now I know that I put this story on hiatus, but I went back to my Yahoo group for slash and I found some really good stories that have sparked my slashy muse. Serendipity is now visiting a very good friend of mine and she's making her story fucking awesome. Levin was kind enough to tell Serendipity that she needed to come home, so hopefully my muse is back to stay. We'll see..._

Good Intentions

Now I know that so much time has passed since our last meeting. And really, you can't blame me for this. If you need to blame someone, please blame Randy. I swear, for the past month, I've done nothing but watch his thighs grow. I have never seen thighs like that on a human being in all my life. I've had the privilege of seeing some mighty fine men in my day, but Randy's thighs are a separate work of art.

So let's see; it's been forever since we've met, so I'll try to get you back up to speed. Hmmm, ah yes. Mark admitted to sleeping with Randy, Randy fucked Ashley then sent her packing, I revealed who I really was, Randy thought he was crazy and John and Adam fought and made up.

It really doesn't seem like much has changed does it? Really, dealing with them, nothing ever does. And I know that I was supposed to be helping Randy, but he's so determined to do this love thing on his own. I need to feel useful, so why not intervene where I might actually do some good?

Oh and if anyone asks, I've been keeping up with your weekly updates. It appears that Kismet has been running her big fat mouth again. Now she's got all of TPTB looking at me to make sure I don't touch Randy. Bitch. She's always cock-blocking.

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Randy stomped toward the door of his hotel and sighed heavily before he opened it. He was greeted by John's smiling face and two very large cups of coffee. "Dude…it's fucking early. What do you want?"

"Good morning to you too." John said moving past Randy and entering his room. He looked around and curled up his lip. "What the fuck happened in here?"

Randy shrugged. "Stimpy…Ashley…some amused chick."

"What?" John had been Randy's best friend for ten years and he still didn't know what the fuck he was talking about most of the time. "You fucked Stimpy or Ashley or the chick?"

Randy shook his head as he made his way back to his bed. "Stimpy was talking to me while I was fucking Ashley. Only Stimpy wasn't Stimpy, he was a chick that said she's my guardian angel." He buried his face in his pillow and sighed. "Do you think it's possible to fuck your brains out?"

John sat down on the chair across from Randy's bed and sipped his coffee. "Well, we'd have to assume that you had brains first."

Rolling over, Randy shot John the finger. "If you came here to insult me, you can get the fuck out. I'm not in a good mood today."

"That's what I came to talk about. You need to hook up and I don't just mean getting laid. You need to involved, Orton. You need someone that'll understand whatever the fuck it is that goes on in your head." He looked up and noticed that Randy's eyes were on him. "And I know just the person to do it."

"Who?" Randy sat up on the bed and narrowed his eyes at John. "Not fucking Victoria. She's hot and all, but her muscles are like the same size as mine." Randy looked around to his left and his right and then whispered. "I think she's a dude."

John stared blankly at his friend. "You've fucked her before and you've fucked a dude. Does it matter?" He reached his arm across the bed and handed Randy his cup of coffee. "I think you should hook up with Copani."

Randy spit out his coffee as soon as it touched his lips. "Are you fucking kidding me? Copani? That guy's balls out for Copeland. I said I wanted to fall in love, not have my fucking heart ripped out my chest by a guy who's in love with your guy."

John could only laugh. The situation was rather ironic to him. "I never thought I'd be having this kinda conversation before. My _boyfriend's_ best friend wants him. And I'm trying to get my best friend with another guy. What the fuck has the world come to?"

"Welcome to the wonders of the prostate. They say love makes you do stupid things. Fuck that. The fucking prostate rules the world. It'll make you crazy." Randy nodded and raised his cup to his friend before taking a gulp.

John agreed. He completely understood what Randy meant. "No seriously, I hate seeing you like this. I happen to know that he's single…you're single…we hang out together anyway, why not?"

"Because he ain't interested in me, that's why not." John could instantly hear the sad tone in Randy's voice. "And I don't know if I'm interested in him. I like Copani, but I don't know if I _like_ Copani. I mean, we have fun, I kicked it with him. The dude's a great kisser and he's fucking hung like a horse, but, aren't you supposed to feel _something_ when you're in love? I don't feel anything."

Suddenly I realized the problem. Randy had the idea that love would just hit him and poof everything would be fine. Somehow, I had to teach him that relationships are more than just about the rush of dopamine and adrenaline. They are about work and cultivation. He shouldn't actually expect to just wake up one day in love with someone and everything would be fine.

"That's why I think you should get to know him." John replied sipping his coffee.

Now Randy may be an idiot, but he's not slow. "Wait a minute…you don't even fucking like that guy. What gives?"

"Is it wrong for me to want to see you happy?"

"Hell yes. You got a motive, Cena. I don't know what it is yet, but I know you do." Randy stood and stretched. "Besides, who says I want to be with a guy? If you're gonna help me, don't weed out the chicks. I like my prostate, but I like tits a whole lot more."

John shook his head as he watched Randy walk to the bathroom. This was going to be harder than he thought. But John was determined, Randy was getting with Mark so Mark would leave Adam the fuck alone.

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Mark walked down to the restaurant and smiled when he saw Adam look up at him. He was just as beautiful to him as he had always been. And the fact that he was smiling made him that much more radiant. "Hey Smiles." He said casually as he pulled out a chair to sit. "Where's your shadow?"

Adam shrugged. "I don't know. We're kinda goin' through some shit right now."

Mark's brows came together. He had given Adam to John on the premise that John would make Adam happy. He told him that he better make sure that Adam smiled all the time. And that look on Adam's face at his admission made Mark regret his decision. "What's up?"

Adam huffed while looking over his menu. "Nothing. I don't want to talk about that right now. I want to talk about you and Orton."

"There's nothing to talk about." Mark picked up his own menu and studied it for all it was worth.

Adam's brain worked to try to spin the story and get as much information from Mark as he possibly could. It was quite brilliant actually, he should be a politician. He is a sneaky bastard. "John thinks that I'm jealous because you slept with Orton. So we kinda been fighting about it."

Mark could feel his temper rise. How dare John question Adam's love? "How do you mean _fighting_?"

"No…nothing like that. We just keep having these arguments." Adam dropped his eyes and studied the crumbs on the table from where he had broken his toast in half. "It's just…you're my best friend and I don't want you to get hurt by getting involved with Orton. You know how he is."

"Orton? Me and Orton?" Mark laughed. "Come on Smiles, you know me better than that. It was one time, it didn't mean anything. We were drinking and it was experimental, that's it."

"You didn't enjoy it at all?" There were so many things that Adam wanted to teach Mark about gay sex, about how to make love to a man, about his body that he was sure no woman could ever show him. But most of all, Adam wanted to teach Mark what it felt like to make love to someone who was in love with him too. What Mark and Randy shared was sex, pure and simple, but Adam regretted that Mark's first time wasn't something more than just that.

"Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad experience. I like Orton…as a friend. The guy's fucking retarded and he makes me laugh, but there's nothing there." Mark's face took on a serious tone. "Besides, I don't think I'm gay. I don't think I would enjoy being with another man, like all the time." What he meant was, another man besides Adam. Mark harbored no animosity toward Randy for their tryst, but he wasn't his Smiles. Randy wasn't what Mark's heart beat for.

I couldn't help but to shake my head. You would think after all of the shit they've been through together, Mark and Adam would at least be honest with each other. All Adam had to say was that he was jealous because he wanted Mark for himself. Surely he loved John, but he still held a torch for Mark. And all Mark had to say was, Adam was the only man he wanted to be with. It's really not rocket science, but they are boys, so it just seems like it's nuclear physics.

"Really?" Adam's thousand watt smile came across his face, making Mark's heart flutter. "Cause I have an idea. I wanna help Randy find someone for him. Once he's hooked up, then John and I will stop arguing. Then all we have to do is find someone for you…"

"Whoa, wait a minute. I'm fine. I don't need to be hooked up." Mark refused to look at Adam, because it was written all over his face. "I tried at love once and the shit just ain't for me. You concentrate on Orton, but leave me out of this little plan."

There was something in Mark's words that hurt Adam. He knew Mark was referring to the one time he left himself open and Adam completely broke his heart. "I never meant to hurt you."

Mark shrugged his shoulders. "I know Smiles. I still got what I wanted though. I got to see you happy, even if it's not with me."

How the fuck could Adam keep rejecting Mark? The man is like a saint or a martyr depending on how you look at him. Well, I don't have to tell you that I was jumping around the room when I saw Adam reach across the table and take Mark's hand. But my happy dance came to an abrupt end when John and Randy walked into the room.

"See what I mean…balls out." Randy said to John pointing to the table. It really was just an innocent gesture, but from where Randy and John stood it looked Mark and Adam were holding hands, getting a bit too friendly at the breakfast table. "And from the looks of things, Copeland ain't worried about your saggy balls anymore either."

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I know this is horrible place to leave off, but I have to get going. Randy's going to the gym and today he's doing leg exercises.


	6. Falling Out

_A/N: Hello again...it seems that Serendipity and I are all in love again. The ideas are flowing so hopefully, I'll actually get into this story._

_Now, I've made a reference to one of my favorite porns, in this chapter. I have to say that I'm not saying that everyone should go out and watch it, but, if happen to like adult films, may I suggest ANY Dale DeBone movies. He is soooo fucking hot!!!! He's my favorite adult porn star; and no he doesn't do gay for pay. All of his flicks are straight. Amish Daughters is pretty fucking funny too, except for that red head (I can't remember her name) that screams all the fucking time. Anyhoo enjoy..._

Falling Out

Good morning. Today has been a pretty slow one, so I decided to squeeze in this little meeting before things start to really heat up. Speaking of heating up, guess what? I actually morphed into human form yesterday…can you believe it? It was so exciting. I can't tell you the last time I've actually been touched by a human and felt it. You people really don't know what you have in senses, it's fantastic. Believe me, I only had my hand held; I can't wait until I have _other_ parts of me touched as well!

Okay, so before I get too ahead of myself, let me fill you in on where we left off. Adam and John were arguing over Mark. John tried to convince Randy that he should date Mark, so Mark would leave Adam alone. Adam tried to convince Mark to help him find someone else for Randy, and Mark and Adam were holding hands when John and Randy walked in the room. You don't need a degree in psychology to know that shit was about to blow up.

I just wish for once, these guys would listen to me. It's a bad enough for five months I had to practically pull teeth to get Adam to make a decision, not to mention to make John listen to his heart. But now Randy? I have no idea how to get inside that boy's empty mind. Maybe I should try talking to Mark. He seems the most rational of the lot.

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Adam had guilt written all over his face. As soon as he saw Randy and John approach the table, he dropped Mark's hand as if he were a leper. He didn't concern himself with the look of hurt and rejection on Mark's face, but only the anger and disgust in John's eyes.

"Hey…" Adam tried to sound casual. "We were just talking about you two."

Randy really is clueless. "Really? Cause it looked like you were holding hands." He sat down at the table and reached over for Adam's toast.

Adam gave Randy a hard look then looked over at John who was still standing by the table. "You're not gonna sit down, babe?"

If John's nostrils would have gotten any bigger, he would have given James Evans from Good Times a run for his money. "We need to talk…now." There was a hostility in his voice that he hadn't used with Adam in a very long time.

Mark was unimpressed. No one talked to Adam that way. "I don't like your tone of voice."

"And I don't give a fuck." John shot his glare in Mark's direction. "Let me make real clear. This shit…" He motioned his hand between Mark and Adam, "ends, right now. You lost dude; you bowed out. Now leave him the fuck alone."

Mark stood and matched John's stance. "First off, Smiles ain't no competition. It's his fucking heart you're talking about as it if was a trophy. Second, I ain't gonna stop being his friend because you're so fucking insecure. You got no idea what you have. I don't even know why the fuck he wastes his time."

Well, it was apparent there was no love lost between these two. It was really going to put a damper on John's plan to get Mark with Randy if he couldn't even hold a civil conversation with the man.

John leaned into the table and rested his hands on the top. His face was mere inches from Mark's. "I don't need you to tell me how to be with Adam. Back the fuck off."

"That's enough." Adam interjected. The last thing he needed was to draw attention to them in the restaurant. He stood and placed his hand on John's back. "You wanna talk…come on."

"Maybe if you knew how to treat him, you wouldn't feel so threatened." It wasn't like Mark to be catty, but something about John bothered him to no end. Mark still remembered all of the hurt and pain John caused Adam and no matter how happy Adam appeared now; it didn't make up for his tears.

"Fuck you." John said to Mark, before switching his glare to Adam. "And fuck you too." John stormed out of the restaurant leaving Adam on the verge of tears.

Adam turned to Mark and shook his head. "Do you always have to start shit with him? Stop trying to protect me…just leave it alone."

"Smiles…"

"No, Copani, listen. I love him; I want to be with him, whether you like it or not." Adam threw some bills on the table. "Just back off, okay?" He left in search for John.

"That went well." Randy said nodding his head and finishing off the rest of Adam's breakfast.

Mark looked at his stupid friend and rolled his eyes. "I'm not all over-protective, am I?" He couldn't really understand why he was asking Randy's opinion. He was convinced that Randy was a moron, but still, he was good at reading people.

Randy sat back and considered the question. "You're kinda like the mother hen. You want Copeland to be happy, but you won't let that happen because he's not with you. It's really not fair."

I have to admit, Randy made a valid point. This was definitely the seventh sign.

"What do you mean?"

"Look Cena's going through a lot just by being with Copeland. This is really hard for him, but he's crazy about that guy." He reached over to take Adam's unfinished cup of coffee. "And then Copeland's trying to deal because on the one hand he loves Cena, but he still has a thing for you. They need to sort it out without you interfering."

Mark put down his head. Interfering was the last thing he wanted to do. "I know. It's just that for so long I've taken care of Smiles. I was the shoulder he cried on. How do I just back off now that he's with fucking _Cena_? That guy isn't right for him. Smiles is headed for more heartache as long as he's with him."

Randy shrugged. "But it's _his_ life to fuck up. You can't baby proof it for him. If Copeland can take a dick, I'm sure he can take a fucking argument or two with Cena." Randy turned to look Mark in the eye. "You really love him, don't you?"

Mark nodded. It was the most painful admission he had ever made. How could just give up the love of his life like that? He thought sacrificing his happiness for Adam's would have felt liberating or validating, but it didn't; all it did was hurt.

"He's got to be the luckiest bastard living. I would give anything to have someone love me like that." Randy stared off into space as he thought about what that would be like. "Do you know how it feels for me right now? I gotta be the best fucking lay out there, but no matter how good I am, I'm not enough. I ain't good at talking to people like you are. I ain't good at listening or being there either. Copeland's got no idea what he's giving up."

Mark put his hand on Randy's shoulder. "I think you're being too hard on yourself, Brainiac. You have great qualities."

"Yeah, sure. Name one."

"Well, you're funny as all get out. You have this completely naïve and child-like view of everything. You don't care about anything or get caught up in all the bullshit. You have to be the most easy going person I know. Shit…you're the only person I know that lives drama free." Mark meant every word he said to Randy.

Randy nodded. "But do you know how fucking lonely that is? I don't have drama 'cause I ain't close enough to anyone to have it. I can't even remember the names of half of the chicks I bang." He played with the fork on the plate that was Adam's. "It use to be fun, but now…not so much. I would give anything to feel what you feel; to be in love with someone, even if they didn't love me back the same way. Hell, I'd even settle for what Copeland has; a fucking hard ass that's so in love and scared shitless that he acts all Ike Turner." He turned to Mark and rested his hand on his head. "I dunno man…it's just gotta be more than this."

Mark agreed. "Yeah. We're pretty pathetic, huh?"

Randy nodded in agreement. "Come on. Let's go see if the love birds are killing each other yet."

And with that, Randy and Mark left the restaurant.

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Ok, so I saw opportunity and I took it. Randy and Mark had a predicament between the two of them. On the one hand, Mark was in love with Adam, but Adam didn't feel the same. On the other, Randy was lonely and wished someone would dote over him. It's not often I will admit this, but John may have been on to something.

I tried to divvy my time between Mark, Randy, John and Adam. I needed to make sure everyone went to their respective corners and calmed down. Of course John and Adam yelled some more and Randy decided he was enjoying wallowing in self-pity. Mark couldn't stop thinking about Adam even if he were wrong to be so concerned. I had enough of the pity party and I had a little conversation with Mark.

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Randy opened his door and was surprised to see Mark standing there. "What's up, Copani?"

"Come on. Get dressed, we're going out." Mark walked in without being invited. "Why are you still standing there? Get some fucking clothes on!" He turned around when he heard heaving panting. "What the fuck are you watching?"

"Amish Daughters. That Dale DaBone is fucking hot." Randy and his porn collection…I don't know what to do with him.

"Are you like into guys now?" Mark asked feeling a little uncomfortable since he was Randy's first gay experience.

Randy shrugged. "I dunno."

"Can I ask you a question?" Mark looked at the floor. "Did you…did you, um, you know, like it?" He wasn't sure how he should react to the answer. If Randy didn't like it did that mean Mark was a bad lover? And if he did, did that mean Mark was good gay lover? It was truly a trick question.

"Did you?" Randy didn't just jump off the Happy Truck this morning, though I'm not quite sure if it wasn't sometime in the very recent past.

Mark nervously picked at the string on his sleeve. "It was okay, I guess."

"It was different." Randy said. "I don't know if I'd wanna do it again, but it wasn't bad at all."

"I know what you mean. It was weird, but in a good kinda way."

"Yeah…"

"Yeah…"

Randy didn't do uncomfortable silences. "So where we going?"

Mark snapped out of his memory of that night to answer the question. "Away from here. I can't listen to them argue anymore."

"Sounds good to me." Randy gathered his clothes and headed to the bathroom. "Oh, you can watch this if you want. The scene when Dale as the rapping Amishman is coming up, then he blows a fucking wad in that red-head, while beat boxing…it's fucking hot."

Mark looked at Randy disgusted and shook his head. "Take a shower, asshole. I want to get totally ripped and you're delaying the inevitable."

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"I ain't doing this. You need to make a decision right now. It's me or Copani…it's that simple." John sat on the chair ultimately defeated and tired of yelling. I've never seen him so wiped out before.

"Don't give me ultimatums, John. What else do I have to do to prove to you that you're who I want?" Adam's face was red and his eyes burned from the tears that he tried to keep back. John said some pretty awful things to him. "I put up with your shit and your mood swings. I'm hiding our relationship from people that mean the world to me. I'm cautious not to show you affection in front of the locker-room. What else do you want?"

"I want you to stay away from Copani."

Adam shook his head. "I've given up everything to be with you and that's fine because I love you that much. But I won't do that. It's just like me telling you to stay away from Orton. I know how much he means to you."

"But the difference is Orton ain't trying to fuck me. He ain't trying to come between us." John could feel his eyes watering too. Why didn't Adam understand? He loved him; he was afraid of losing him. "I don't doubt for one minute that you love me. But I also know that you love him and you can't turn that off no matter how hard you try. If this thing with us is gonna work, you gotta let him go."

"Fuck you, John." Adam stood up and glared at his lover. The thought of leaving Mark completely alone hurt him. "I have never asked you to give up shit and you want me to get rid of the most important person in my life. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

John stood too and shook his head. "_That's_ what's wrong with me. _I_ should be the most important person in your life, not Copani." He walked out of the room and closed the door softly behind him.

Adam stood there dumbfounded. He had no idea what just happened. As soon as he opened the door to call after John, he spotted Mark and Randy dressed to the nines and laughing. Mark was moving on; he was going out without him. During the entire time he and John spent in that room arguing, never once did Mark come to check on him.

Adam closed his door and laid down on the bed. He had become a two time loser. First he lost the man that he loved and now he was losing the man he was in love with.

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I know it seems that I need to get some order around here. But, that's not the way I work. I present the facts, let these boys see what's in front of them and let them make their own decisions. It's not my fault. It's written in the rule book. Blame it on Free Will. He's my uncle, but he has no idea what he's doing.


	7. Revelation

Revelation

There you are…really, if you knew how much I have to tell you, you wouldn't be making me wait. We're almost to the point of the story where your help becomes necessary. You do realize that with every moment you make me wait, that's another moment you've pushed me back in my schedule. That equates to another moment that Randy is left without guidance. You really do not understand the severity of that do you? Just to teach you a lesson, I should let him walk around without my help then you'll see what kind of trouble he causes; that'll learn you.

Ok, so when I left off last, I told you that John and Adam had a big fight, like that was anything new, and John stormed out after Adam slipped and said that Mark was the most important person in his life. Adam went to call after John, but instead saw Mark and Randy together. Randy and Mark grazed over the conversation about them sleeping together before discussing porn and going out for drinks.

I would hope that TPTB don't watch _every_ move I make. I could see where they would think that I was fucking up. Not that I would ever admit it, hell, if Chance didn't get canned for letting get Brandy behind the wheel of a car, there's no way in hell I should be in any trouble.

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"So what's your name?" Randy sat in his hotel room, looking out into nothing. He had convinced himself that he had truly lost his mind. He was more apt to talking to his television than to me. "You do have a name right?"

I really didn't like that condescending tone in his voice. But in all fairness, he had a right to be suspicious of me. "My name is Serendipity."

"I don't like that name." He made a face and looked around the room. "How about I call you April?"

"How about no? My name is Serendipity."

"Well that's fucking stupid. Who the hell ever heard of a chick named that?" Randy was in a foul mood and I for one wasn't standing for his verbal assault.

"I'll have you know that millions of people have heard of Serendipity. I'm famous and I'm no ordinary _chick_ either." I should know better than to argue with an imbecile, but it was something about the childish way he was acting that made me want to banter with him.

Randy huffed. He wasn't going to get his way and he couldn't stand it. "So Seren…what do you look like? Are you like all ugly and shit, is that why you're invisible?"

"I'm not invisible, I just chose for not see me." It's amazing how he'll do anything to avoid the topic. "Now back to the question. What turns you on?"

"Show me what you look like and I'll tell you."

"What do you want me to look like Randy?" If were going to get anywhere, I had to play along.

Randy crossed his legs excitedly and smiled. "You can look like anybody?" He clapped his hands, when I answered yes. "Oh shit. Um, look like Halle Berry."

"I don't want to look like her…if you could put together your dream person, what would they look like?"

Randy closed his eyes and thought. "Um…they'd be tall, dark hair and brown eyes. A beautiful smile, perfect teeth, toned, tanned skin…ahh…"

I took the liberty of looking into his mind. I smiled in spite of myself. "You do realize that you're describing Mark?"

"I am not!" Randy jumped up like an accused child. "You didn't let me finish. I was gonna say that she had to have a big rack too; like a triple F size."

"Randy…" I tried to scold him, but he's just so cute when he's trying cover up. "You like Mark don't you?"

Randy sat in silence for a moment. He didn't need say anything. I knew the answer. "No."

"Then why are you thinking about him?"

Randy pulled the blanket over his head. "I'm not. And get the fuck out my head. I didn't give you permission to be there." It's really not like there was anything else in there. "And if you must know I was thinking about the conversation we had earlier. I'm thinking of a way to get him and Copeland together."

"You are such a fucking liar. Look Randy, if you like Mark, it's okay. I'd do him." So maybe I suck at professionalism, but really, I never get to talk to my charges. "What's not to like? He's attractive, he's young, he's very well endowed…"

"How do you know? I bet you can see everybody, can't you? Ooh, do you like have x-ray vision, like Superman and shit? Doesn't matter, you ain't seen mine have you? I got his ass beat." Randy stood up and began to unbutton his pants.

"Stop! I've seen it." Damn it, I shouldn't have let that one slip. And if you ever tell TPTB about this, I will deny it with all of my heart. But, Randy did have few inches on Mark. That stays between us, got it?

"Pretty fucking impressive, huh?" He sat back down with a satisfied smirk on his face. "And see that's what I don't get. I'm fucking hung, I'm good in bed; why can't I fall in love?"

I sat next to Randy and took his hand in mine. "I know this may be hard to believe, but not everything revolves around sex. I know, I know…it's hard to imagine, but normal people have lives _outside_ of their sex lives." The look on his face was one of utter disbelief. "Have you ever had a serious relationship before? There's so much more to them than sex. It's about compromise and taking the person's feelings into consideration. It's about making them happy, not just you. You have a good heart Randy, now you need to listen to it. What do you want?"

"I want someone to understand me." Randy bit the inside of his jaw as he thought. "I want someone that won't make fun of me because I'm not that smart. I want someone that I can laugh with and cuddle up with at night. I want someone the way that Copani wants Copeland. I see the way that guy looks at him and it burns me the fuck up."

"Why?"

"Because nobody has ever looked at me that way." Randy put his head down in embarrassment.

I feel the need to explain myself. It was at that moment that I should have left the room. But I couldn't, not with him so upset. I knew what I was going to do and I knew that I could lose my job for it. I didn't mean any harm by it, I just wanted him to know that someone did care for him. He was more than just a big penis, although it was big…very, very big. He was sensitive, although he was too stupid to realize it. He was funny, but that was because he was dumb. And he was worthy, just because he was Randy. I wanted him to see that I looked at him that way.

Randy's eyes were big as saucers when he looked at me for the first time. "I've seen you before. You're her…"

I panicked. What did he mean I was _her_? I disappeared and stayed silent while he talked to himself.

"I know you. I dream about you. You touch me in my sleep; you cuddle up with me at night, don't you? Why'd you go away?" He looked around the room. "Look, I'm sorry if I freaked you out, just come back okay? You're fucking her…you're the one."

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Well I don't need to tell you that I needed to be off this case, like yesterday. Things had gotten way out of hand. First of all, I had no business molesting my charge. Secondly, I should have never gone back for seconds, or thirds, or hundredths, but with that aside, I shouldn't have cuddled with him on cold nights, or stroked his hair when he couldn't sleep. I most certainly should not have carried on very strange conversations with him. And there was no way in hell that I should have revealed myself to him. That's what fucked me up in the Adam case. And here I was, repeating the same mistake.

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Mark dragged himself out of bed, intent on murdering whoever was banging on his door. "What?" He opened it only to find Randy Orton looking like a crazy person. "Brainiac, it's 3 in the morning. What do you want?"

Randy barged passed Mark and made his way into the room. "Do you think I'm crazy?"

Mark nodded. "Yes, you're a fucking lunatic. Good night."

"No, like seriously. Am I crazy? Because I think I'm crazy. I saw her…she was right there…she's the fucking one." Randy took a seat on Mark's bed and looked around the room. "And I know she can hear me. SHE'S JUST HIDING…" He said loud enough to wake up the entire floor.

I was listening; he didn't have to yell.

"I give…what the fuck are you talking about?" Mark sat down and rested his back against the wall.

Randy let out a deep breath and decided to start at the beginning. "Okay, so you know how I couldn't have sex, so I could fall in love? Well it was my guardian angel that told me that shit. Worst fucking advice ever…anyway, she's been helping me figure out what I want. So then tonight she asked me to describe my dream person and I described you, but then she showed me who she was and she's the girl that I dream about. It's fucking her."

Mark looked around the room confused. "Wait…back up. I'm your dream person?"

"Did you hear anything I said? She's the one. Why are you so fucking conceited? The only part that shit you heard was about you." Randy shook his head and looked at Mark disgusted.

"Okay, wait. You come in here in the middle of the night to tell me that you're talking to an 'angel' about me, and I'm not supposed to hear that part?" Mark sat upright and stared at Randy in disbelief. "It's too fucking early in the morning for this shit man."

Randy rolled his eyes. "Oh calm down. It's not like I _want_ you or anything. I was just saying what kind of person that I would like to be with. I already told you, I think the way you are with Copeland is what I want. What's the big deal?"

"We slept together." Mark whispered as if someone else in the room could hear him. "You don't see the big deal in that?"

Randy stood up confused. "First of all, if I remember correctly, there wasn't any sleeping involved. Secondly, _you_ got the ride of your fucking life…so stop acting like you fucking turned _me_ out."

"I did not." Mark narrowed his eyes at Randy.

Randy huffed. "Dude…this is _me_ we're talking about. I'm the best fucking lay out there. You loved it."

I personally was having a field day because the focus was taken off of me. Plus, the sexual tension in the room was amazing. I hoped those boys wouldn't disappoint me.

"Whatever, dude. What do you want, Orton? I'm fucking tired." Mark shook his head and looked over at the clock. "You got 30 seconds and then I'm kicking your ass out."

"You didn't like it? Are you serious? You didn't think it was good?" In Randy's limited mind, nothing was more important than his sexual image. It was amazing that he had forgotten the entire reason that he came to Mark's room to begin with. He could only think about what Mark thought of him as a lover. "That's fucked up because I thought _you_ were good. I bet you if I was _Smiles_ you wouldn't be saying that shit."

"What the fuck does that mean? How did Smiles get in this conversation?" By this time Mark had just about enough of Randy.

"It means that everything is about fucking Copeland. Dude, he's in love with Cena…leave them the fuck alone. You're all mopey and shit…you won't let yourself do anything or fucking enjoy anything because it ain't with him." Randy stood back on his legs and crossed his arms. "What a fucking waste."

Mark stood up to Randy with a dark glare in his eyes. He was angry. How dare Randy mock his feelings for Adam? What Mark felt for Adam was love! It was pure, it was beautiful…it was unrequited. But damn Randy for throwing it in his face. He stood only a few inches away, tearing him down with his stare. They were so close they could feel each other breathing angrily on one another. Mark had hurt Randy's pride and Randy made it really clear that Adam was in love someone else.

I knew that if I didn't take matters into my own hands, they would go on staring at each other all night. I thought at Mark because let's face it, Randy doesn't listen; especially not when he has the potential to get laid.

Mark leaned in and touched his lips softly to Randy's. He wasn't quite sure why he was kissing him. He didn't have feelings for Randy; he loved Adam. But Randy was right, Adam didn't love him. Why should he still be pining away for a man that didn't want him? Not to mention that Randy was an amazing kisser.

Randy backed off and looked Mark in the eye. "Don't do it, if you don't mean it."

Mark didn't know if he meant it, but he needed to prove to Randy and more importantly himself that he didn't need Adam to validate him. To his knowledge he wasn't attracted to Randy, but he found him attractive. He looked back at Randy and nodded before kissing him again. "Stay with me."

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I know…I told Randy no sex. And of course he takes this time to actually fucking listen. I should really be clearer in my instructions. I should have said, 'Randy, no sex with bimbos, but if Mark wants to fuck you…then by all means.'

Instead of hot, sweaty bodies flopping around, I had to settle for deep kisses and exploratory touches. To my surprise, there was a lot of giggling and content sighing. After reading both Mark and Randy's minds, I found that they were both more attracted to each other than either was willing to admit.

Am I jealous? Hell yes. But I'm just a muse…what can I do about it?


	8. Knowing What You Want

_A/N: I am SOOOOOO sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. As you know, I've been struggling with this thing from day one. I'm not really an on-demand writer. Someone asked me to write this sequel and I thought I'd give it a shot. I usually can't write on request. I have to have an idea and completely work it through. If you give me a topic and say "write", the creativity just doesn't flow with me._

_Having said that, after bouncing some ideas around with an author that I respect the hell out of, I have a new direction for this story. At first, I wanted two different things to happen, pulling the story in two different ways. I think now I've reached a happy medium and hopefully, I'll be updating more frequently. Keep in mind though, I have 6 other stories working and I'm developing one more, so my brain is a little full right now. _

_For SRC and asher02...this is for you. Thanks for your patience and I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Enjoy!_

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Knowing What You Want

I know after our last meeting a few of you were disappointed that I broke the rules again. But, in my defense, I only did it because I wanted Randy to know that someone cared about him. And in all fairness, I should be happy that Randy had the potential to fall in love, especially with someone was wonderful as Mark. Let's face it, Mark is a dream catch. He's sensitive, he's sexy, he's smart, he's funny…he's everything that anyone could want. But surprisingly, I don't want him. No…I'd rather fall in love with a completely brainless idiot savant and that's exactly what has happened.

There is a reason that muses are not to communicate with their charges and this is exactly why. It is strictly forbidden to ever get involved with a mortal. It upsets the balance; it takes the muse/charge relationship and turns it into something ugly and unfair. It's a sacrilege. Can you imagine how one sided the world would be if muses and their charges got together. Just look at Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Shakira…how do you think they got famous? It's not because they can sing, because let's face it…they all sound like cats fucking. No…they became famous because they've been fucking divine creatures, they have on going relationships with their muses. I couldn't do that to the world.

Besides, where would we live? What would we do? I can't stay human. If I did, I would lose all of my powers. Randy can't be a muse…he's too stupid. Besides, there have been thousands of angels to human transformations and less than 1 percent of the human population has made the change in the other direction and none of those relationships have worked. No matter what I won't, it's not meant to be. I have to accept that.

Now... when we last met, I told you that I showed myself to Randy, he called me "The One", and then he went to Mark to see if he was really crazy, ended up arguing with him, they kissed and spent the night together. It really could've been a lot worse and I should have been happy for him. But I wasn't. Oh, when I get my hands on Jealousy, I'm going to kick his ass.

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Randy stretched out on the bed and yawned loudly. He hadn't slept that good in a very long time. Letting his arms fall carelessly to his sides, he turned his head when he felt a mass next to him. It was still early; Randy's internal clock knew this. It was in fact too early to open his eyes. There was nothing worth seeing at whatever ungodly hour it was. He allowed his body to roll and cuddle next to the mass of warmth that laid by his side. With a smirk dancing across his lips, Randy let his hand snake under the covers and gently trailed the stomach muscles of the body beside him.

_She must work out._ Randy could feel each defined muscle cut to rippled abdominal perfection under his hand. _She must work out a lot._ Absently in his still semi-conscious state, he ran his other hand over his own abs to see if his felt as tight. Then his hand travel lower… "What the fuck are you doing?" Randy sat up straight in the bed and looked at an equally confused Mark.

"I was sleeping. What the fuck are you doing?" Mark found himself wrapping the covers tightly around his body. He couldn't figure out why in the hell Randy was in his bed. Granted, they had gone out the night before and had a few drinks, but Mark wasn't drunk. "Did you slip something in my drink last night?"

"Like I'd have to get you drunk to sleep with me." Randy countered, pulling the covers away from Mark to wrap them around his own naked form. "Why the fuck are you in my room?"

Mark sat up and looked around. For the briefest moment he wondered if he was in fact so disoriented that he had somehow stumbled into Randy's room and made his way under the covers with him. "This is my fucking room."

Randy had no answers. "Fuck! Did I…did we, um…"

"I don't think so." Mark couldn't figure out what had happened or why he was naked in the bed with Randy.

Perhaps I should explain what went on. Well you see, I panicked. Randy's reaction to seeing me scared me. It wasn't so much that he recalled seeing me before, but it was more of how he reacted to seeing me. I didn't know what "The One" meant, but if it meant what I hoped it did…that wasn't going to be good for anyone. So, I made an executive decision. I decided to erase their collective memories of the night before. I had hoped that when they woke up together they would realize that they were meant to be and make a good run of it. I was wrong. It isn't the first time, but it is one of the few times, I will admit it.

"Well, my ass doesn't hurt, so you didn't fuck me." Randy leaned over the side of the bed and picked up his pants. "What about yours?"

"My ass is fine." Mark didn't want to talk about his ass with Randy, now or ever. "Look Brainiac…Smiles'll be here soon to get breakfast…"

Randy lowered his eyes and nodded. "I get it. I'll leave."

"I didn't mean it like that. It just…we don't even know what happened last night. How I am supposed to explain it to Smiles?" No matter how great his potential for happiness, Mark could only think of Adam. I really needed to find something to distract him.

Randy pulled up his pants and turned to face Mark. Anger wasn't something that he often displayed, but when Randy got mad, I got hot and bothered. "You know what fucks me up? The fact that I'm a good guy. Sure…I ain't that smart and I don't have a smile like a fucking psychopath; but I don't play games either. I'm not dating one guy and stringing another along. I can't find a girl willing to spend more than one night with me, even if I am a really good lay. And the fact that I _may_ have fucked you last night …and you're fucking kicking me out, for fucking _Copeland_. I just don't get it. What the fuck is wrong with _me_?"

Mark ran a frustrated hand through his hair and blew out a breath. "Brainiac…it's not like that. There's nothing wrong with you. It's me."

"I didn't mean _you._ I just meant…fuck it." Randy walked over to the door, but stopped before he turned the handle. "I don't even know why I wasted my time."

Wrapping the sheet around his waist, Mark made large strides across the room. "Orton, wait."

"Why? So you can tell me another million great things about Copeland? He doesn't want you. I'm sick of everyone telling me how fucking great he is. Sure…Copeland's nice and he's funny and he's a good friend. But I already know I don't measure up. I really don't you need to remind me why." Randy never voiced his self doubt before. He knew it was something that never set well with him but he never realized that he was jealous of Adam. "He's got fucking everything, he's fantastic…you manage to tell me that, every fucking day. I'm sick of listening."

Mark felt horrible. If he did actually sleep with Randy the night before, this isn't how he wanted to part.

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This conversation was not going the way Randy wanted it to. He was having a pity party and right now he just wanted Mark to understand. It wasn't about Mark; it was about Randy being undesirable. Which I personally don't understand. I mean really, who could resist that cute little smirk, that dimple seated perfectly in the clef of his chin? Who could resist those blue eyes, no matter how beady and shiesty they were? And that body; that muscular torso straight down to those thighs?

What the fuck is wrong with you humans? Anyone should have been willing to give an ounce of flesh to be with that man. That is unless you actually like to carry on conversations with those you sleep with, then I could understand why Randy was alone. But if you can ignore his small brain, you'd know that he really is a sweet guy.

No matter, I had to get their conversation back on track. And dealing with Randy, it was going to be harder than I thought.

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Mark and Randy sat on opposite sides of the room, not speaking. It was quite amusing actually. If Randy was that upset, he could have just gone back to his room, but he didn't. Instead, he sat there trying to figure out what it was exactly he wanted to say.

There was no way a relationship with Mark would work. Mark was in love with Adam, plain and simple. And Randy really wasn't interested in being a rebound. He wanted someone to love him, not someone to use him as a substitute for who they really wanted.

"Are you gay?" It really wasn't what Mark wanted to ask Randy, but it's what came out.

Randy shrugged. He had no idea if he were gay or not. "I don't think so. I mean, I tried it. You were a good lay, but it's too much fucking work. I gotta keep reminding myself that I'm supposed to like cock and not tits. And that blowjob thing; that still fucks me up. I guess if I put my mind to it, I could be."

"See, I think that's the problem. I'm not gay...and I think if you have to concentrate on it, then you aren't either." I had to hand it to Mark. He was doing this like a true diplomat. Instead of placing the blame on Randy, he placed the blame on an external source. "Brainiac…I think you're a really cool guy. But I'm not really interested in being with a man."

"What about Copeland?"

This was complicated. "I don't know. I don't see myself with another man. But I can see myself with Smiles. I'm not gay at least, I don't think that I'm gay. I _am_ in love with Smiles, though." It wasn't a struggle or a fight with Mark. His heart told him that he was in love with Adam and he didn't question it. "I can't really explain it."

Although it wasn't what he wanted to hear, Randy understood what Mark meant. "I know. It's like…I don't think I could be with a guy all the time, you know? But I just kinda wish that someone would look at me the way that you look at Copeland. I figured I can't find a woman that will, so a dude would have to do, right? But fucking dudes got too much shit going on." Randy sat back in his chair and regarded the situation. "Like, I don't think I could handle being with a dude with bigger cock than mine. Not because of the pain, I just wanna be the one with a bigger cock. And dudes don't have tits. And that beard thing…it kinda freaks me out…"

Mark started to laugh. "So, what you're telling me is you're not interested in me either?"

"I guess I'm not. I like you Copani; you're a good guy and you're pretty good in bed. But you're not the one."

"I hear ya. The one for me is with someone else. And no matter how much I want him to be happy, I'm not because he ain't with me." The pain of Adam being with Cena was written all over Mark's face. I really wish I could go back in time and convince Adam that Mark could make him happy. But that's not how I work. I can't make anyone fall in love with someone else. "But I'm not gonna waste my life waiting for him either."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know. Move on I guess." The idea of moving on without Adam made Mark sick to his stomach. "I used to do pretty good for myself. I don't really have a problem meeting women…"

"How do you make them stay?"

"What?" Mark couldn't believe that Randy Orton was asking him for advice. Randy got laid more than anyone he knew put together and multiplied by two. For a man that could get a woman to jump his bed just by a smile, Randy truly had no idea how to keep one.

It wasn't a hard question. Apparently Randy was doing something wrong; women didn't want anything more than to sleep with him. "After you fuck 'em…how do you get 'em to stay?"

That was the first time Mark had ever heard of that like it was a bad thing. Most guys thought it was their lucky day when a woman was gone before they up in the morning. But Randy? He truly was of a different species. "I don't know. Try being their friend first?"

"Done that. I fucked Mickey, Torrie, Candice, Melina, Maria, Jillian, Michelle…"

"Okay, I get it."

"I know all of them. We're friends, they still just wanna fuck."

A sad look crossed Mark's face. "Try telling them what you want, then. Don't just wait and hope that they'll know." Truer words had never been spoken. Perhaps if Mark would have told Adam from day one how he felt, he wouldn't be playing second to John now. "You're a good guy, Brainiac. Just keep being you…you're bound to find some blind, crippled, or crazy woman willing to say 'the hell with an intelligent conversation, I just want really freaky sex all the fucking time and a relationship with a man that doesn't know what the fuck is going on.'"

Randy smiled happily. Although he was sure it was meant as an insult, it was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him. "Thanks Copani. And I'm sure that when Copeland gets tired of Cena, he'll come to you. Your cock's way bigger than John's, anyway."

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So I would be lying if I said I wasn't happy that Randy and Mark both decided that they didn't want to be together. In a way had they decided that they would work, it would have made my job easier. Randy could have fallen in love, Mark could finally love someone who would love him back, and I could go on about my business and forget all about Mark, Randy, John, and Adam. But as long as they decided that they were a no go, it gave me more time with him. Not that I minded. Any more time with Randy was welcomed time.

I swear if I was my boss, I'd fire me. This situation needed to be dealt with the utmost of care. I am a professional. I was instructed to help Randy find love and nothing was going to stop me from doing that.

I had made up my mind that I could put my personal feelings aside and just be business as usual. Well, you know as well as I, that shit never works.

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Randy barged into his hotel room whistling. He was in a good mood and I couldn't figure out why. Just a few moments ago in Mark's room, he was trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Now, two minutes later, he's fucking Fred Astaire whistling and tap dancing down around the place.

"April?" He looked around his hotel room. He opened up the closet, then the bathroom door followed by lifting the covers off of the bed. "April, I know you're here. You can come out now; it's just me."

I was trying to figure out who the fuck was April. To my knowledge the only invisible person Randy talked to was me and we both know my name isn't April. Unless, he remembered...

"April? Fine...Serendipity? I hate that fucking name." Randy folded his arms across his chest and tapped his foot impatiently. "Would you please come out? I need to talk to you."

Everything in me told me not to answer him. I erased his memory. He shouldn't even have remembered that I told him my name or that I appeared to him. But I guess if you start screwing around with someone with a mind as fragile as Randy's all bets for the normal protocol are off. "So talk. I can hear you."

"But I can't see you. How can you hear me, if I can't see you?"

What? I was confused already and he hadn't even said anything. "One has nothing to do with the other. You can't see me now, but I heard everything you said."

"Well, how do I know that? You could like have powers to know what I'm going to say before I say it. Then you make me think I'm talking to you, but you're really reading my future thoughts and then I start talking and you're not listening."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Randy?"

"Jesus…do I have spell it out for you? I got great news. I spent the night with Copani and we made out a little bit and then this morning he gave me the cold shoulder and told me he doesn't want me." Randy had a satisfied smile on his face.

The problem I was having was why was he so damn happy about that? "I'm sorry? I thought you and Mark would have made a very handsome couple."

"I'm handsome without him." He wasn't being conceited, he just being stupid. "So anyway, Copani told me that I have to tell a woman what it is I want."

"Well I've been trying to get you to tell me that for weeks." Finally we were getting somewhere. If he could tell me what he wanted, I could find him someone that could fulfill those wishes. This was going to be a heart felt moment. The least I could do was appear to the man. I was standing directly behind him and he never heard me enter the room. "So…what is it? What do you want?"

He turned around with an amused smile and grabbed my hands. "You."

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I don't need to tell you I was thoroughly fucked and the sad part was, he hadn't even touched me. How the hell do I get myself into these situations?


	9. Big Mistakes

Big Mistakes

I called this emergency meeting in response to all of the emails I've gotten for my little Randy problem. Really, how was I supposed to know that he would decide that he wanted me? He was supposed to be figuring out what his heart wanted, not searching his otherwise empty brain for the next best thing.

I will tell you this though, after that little admission, I decided that I was spending too much time with him. He was getting too attached. That was probably the reason that he _thought_ he wanted me to begin with. It was hard, but I did it. I stopped lathering the soap over his chest and back while he showered; that one was particularly hard for me. And, no more holding absentminded conversations with him during the day or holding him at night, either.

Now before you go filling out the ballot box for the best muse in the Heavens, let me explain that last comment. I'd stopped _sleeping_ with Randy, but he can't sleep unless I'm right there by his side. So, as part of my Randy diet, I started just lying next to him at night, stroking his head while listening to the gentle hum of his breathing. I'd rub his back to ensure that he felt safe and protected. I'd rub his thighs because…well…I don't have an excuse for that one. He's just got amazing thighs and I can't help myself, okay? I'm not ashamed of it. Like you wouldn't do the same…

No matter. After this meeting you will be officially caught up and then you'll completely understand why I need your help. To fill you in again, Adam and John were on the fritz because of Adam and Mark. Mark and Randy spent the night together, but didn't do it and then they decided that they don't really want to be with each other, but Randy decided that he wanted me instead. I know…it's pretty fucked up, isn't it?

I'm taking an extended leave of absence when this is over.

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Walla Walla, Washington is where the WWE set up shop for their show. I swear if I ever find the person that named this town Walla Walla, I'm going to beat the living shit out them. What the fuck kind of name is that anyway?

Randy sat on the bench in the locker-room looking more lost than normal. He hadn't heard from me in a week, for the most part it seemed as though Mark was avoiding him, Adam was too busy chasing after John to pay him any attention, and John was just being John. What Randy needed was a friend, but it seemed they were all too busy for him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" John took a seat on the bench near Randy and started to go through his bag. "Why the fuck you looking like a lost puppy?"

Randy shrugged. He knew this wouldn't come out right when he said it, but John was his best friend. Surely he would understand. "I'm having woman problems."

"Since when?" To Cena's knowledge Randy never _had_ a woman to have a problem with. The few hours spent bawling their brains out did not a relationship make. "You gotta woman, now?"

Randy sighed. "Well, not really. She's not a woman. I mean, she is a _woman_ but she's not a _woman woman_. Get it?"

"She like a tranny or some shit?" John knew that Randy was an experimental kind of guy, but he had no idea he was _that _experimental.

As soon as I saw that goofy distant smile on Randy's face, I knew he was thinking about the prospect of being with a trans-sexual. It would be the best of both worlds. But, if he was having this much trouble with finding a woman…or a man for that matter, what the fuck would he have to deal with being with a tranny? "Nah, not a tranny. She's an angel or something. Her name is Serendipity…I think that's Greek or maybe it's Italian. But, it's a stupid fucking name, so I call her April. And she's English…well her accent is, but her name's Greek, I think. So maybe she's just European, but she's from Heaven. Is Heaven in Europe? It doesn't really matter.

Anyway, she can disappear and shit like that and she talks to me when she thinks I can't hear her. And she use to fuck me in my sleep, but not anymore. That's fucked up too, because, I had the best fucking dreams about her. Like this one night, I was dreaming that I was walking on the beach…and there she was, riding on a goat, butter ball naked. She hops off the goat and bam…we're fucking and I'm hitting that shit from every position…the fucking goat kept licking my face, but that's beside the point.

I use to think that she was just in my head, but then she showed me what she looked like. But, I don't know if that's what she really looks like because she told me she can look like anybody she wants to. But, I know it was her…it's all in the eyes. She's got violet eyes. Do you know how fucking cool that is? What person besides Elizabeth Taylor has violet eyes? But, she's not a person, so I don't know if that really counts. She's hot. I'm telling you, really fucking hot."

John sat there quietly looking at his friend with caution. He'd known Randy for years and knew his tendencies to be a complete moron, but never once did he know him to be crazy. "Are you getting high?" He asked with sincerity in his voice. It wasn't like he and Orton never blazed up together in the past, but for the kind of shit that Randy was talking about, it had to be more than just pot. "We can talk to Vince…"

"Fuck you, Cena! I'm not on drugs." Randy unwrapped the tape from around his wrists and looked at his friend with disbelief. "Why is it so hard to believe that my girlfriend is amused?"

Whoa! _Girlfriend_? When did that happen? He told me he wanted me and now suddenly I'd become his girlfriend? I needed to sit down and talk to him about this idea of his. And what is this shit with me being amused? I'm _a _muse, damn it!

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Now before I go on, let me explain the goat. We divine creatures only have the power to invade human's thoughts and take you to the place in which your fantasies lie. The sex part was real, the goat…that was all Orton. I had _nothing_ to do with it and I made damn sure that fucking goat didn't lick me. But, I will admit riding that goat bareback…I might want to try that again.

I couldn't deal with Randy at the moment. I had entirely too much to sort out before I could have an intelligent, one-sided conversation with him. Besides, I needed to figure out where he and Mark went wrong. It could have been so perfect, they could have been a couple for the history books, but that's what I get for leaving matters of the heart up to two men. As luck would have it, Mark wasn't far away. And he was looking quite dapper, I might add. So many men, so little time.

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An empty arena was always a good place to think. Sitting in the back of the lower concourse, Mark Copani rested his elbows against his thighs and held his head in his hand. He had to get over this. Sure, Adam was his best friend and the love of his life, but the truth was Adam was in love with another man. It didn't matter how many times he told himself this or Adam confirmed it, Mark's head and his heart just wouldn't let go of it.

He couldn't figure out Adam's hold on him. It wasn't like he and Adam were once lovers that had their relationship ruined by some treacherous affair. Sure they had kissed a few times and even spent one passionate night and a damn passionate morning together, but they had never crossed that line. Since his return to the WWE, Mark knew that Adam was in love with Cena.

Maybe if he could figure out why Adam loved Cena, he could get over it. From where Mark sat, John was a fucking prick that didn't deserve his Smiles. John put Adam through too much shit, he couldn't ever love him the way he deserved…and it wasn't for his lack of trying, he just wasn't good enough for Adam. Smiles was special. He needed to be handled gently and Cena was too much of a fucking prick and a hard ass to see that.

"This seat taken?" Mark looked up and smiled at Mickie James. He shook his head and motioned for her to sit down. "What's eating you?"

With a shrug, Mark stared out toward the crew setting up the ring for the night's show. "Nothing…just thinking."

"Care to share?" Mickie looked out in the same direction that Mark was before turning her head to face him. "Cause trust me, you are too damn fine to be sitting here with _that_ look on your face."

"You wouldn't understand." Mark had talked about his problems with Adam to Mickie before. In fact talking to her is what started that whole threesome between them and Orton. Maybe it was just him, but talking to Mickie ended him up in some weird ass situations.

Mickie nodded and rested back in her chair. "Okay…how about I guess? From the look on your face, I'd say it was about Adam. And judging from how you were burying your head in your hands, I'd say it's because he still doesn't want to be with you." She looked at Mark and smiled. "How am I doing so far?"

"It's more than that." What the hell, he might as well tell her. At the rate he was going, the only person he left to talk to was Randy and he really didn't want to confuse himself anymore than he already was. "It's like, I get that Smiles digs Cena. I don't understand why, but whatever. And I know that I should be moving on, but I can't. It's like I'm stuck…fucking waiting for him to realize that Cena's a fucking punk bitch. I don't know…"

You know, it really is a shame that Mark wasn't my charge. I could really have an intellectual conversation with him. I wanted so badly to tell him that Hope had lost her fucking mind recently over this entire Sanjaya being on American Idol thing. Her aspirations and penchant for tomfoolery was off the fucking charts at the moment. _That_ was the reason why he couldn't let Adam go; it had nothing to do with him. But of course, I couldn't talk to Mark and I was forced to watch him suffer.

"And you know the fucked up part about it? I spent the night with Orton last night. He's a great guy…he's fucking loony tooned, but he's still pretty decent. But there's just nothing there. I suppose it could be, if I really tried. But isn't it just supposed to happen? You shouldn't have to force it, right?" He looked at Mickie with pleading eyes. At this point he would settle for any words of wisdom she could possibly muster. "This is so fucking stupid. I'm not even into guys."

"I don't think it really has anything to do with Adam being a guy. Your heart doesn't care what's between his legs. Adam _is _a great guy…but he's somebody else's great guy. Orton…he's fucking Orton. I ain't touching that one." She placed her hand on his leg and took a deep breath. "Maybe you should look outside of this little boy box that you've created for yourself. Just take some time and see what's out there. Figure out what you need, cause right now, it's all about what Adam needs. You owe it to yourself to be happy, even if it's not with him. He loves you, but as a friend. Think about it. What would happen if you got together?"

"I'd spend everyday making him happy." Mark's voice was distant, but there was so much truth in his words.

"But who would make you happy? Because believe it or not, he'd never be totally happy if he was still in love with someone else." Mickie patted Mark's leg. "And it's not fair to whoever gets you if your heart is still with him."

Mark leaned back defeated and closed his eyes. "But you know what the worst is? He's my best friend and I swear this shit is putting such a fucking strain on that relationship. We hardly talk anymore. We use to talk about everything. Now, every time we do it's about Cena and how he's fucking up. And as much as I want to be there for him, all I want to say is, 'He's not worth your fucking time!' Maybe this would be easier if we weren't friends anymore."

"What do you plan on doing?"

With a shrug Mark confessed. "I thought coming back was what I wanted. Now I know I only wanted to come back to be with him. I'm thinking about leaving; this time for good. Just make a clean break, ya know. Give myself some time to get over him."

Just as I happened to look up, I noticed Adam standing behind Mark, looking less than pleased. "We need to talk." He said abruptly, before turning around and heading out into the hallway.

"Fuck!" Mark growled before excusing himself and following behind Adam. Once he made it out into the quiet surroundings of the hall, he leaned against the wall and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Look Smiles…"

"No Copani. What the fuck was that about? You wanna end our friendship because I'm with somebody else?" Adam ran a hand through his blonde hair and paced back and forth.

Mark put his head down. This was not how he wanted Adam to find out. He wanted to sit down and have a serious conversation about this, not do it in the middle of a deserted hallway. "Smiles, I can't do this anymore. I don't care what I try, the way I feel…won't go away. I'm trying to respect you being with Cena. I even made out with Orton, I think…but nothing works. I love you; I can't fucking stop. Maybe I _should_ leave."

With a determined look on his face, Adam stood directly in front of Mark and stared him down. "No."

This was going to be one of those good conversations and it was just my luck that the fucking concession stands weren't open yet. I had to watch it without the aid of tasty treats. No matter…I was a professional. So I sat my professional ass down and waited for the profession of love.

"No? No what?"

"No… I'm not letting you go. You can't leave me." Raising his head to look at Mark, Adam's lips were just inches away from a kiss that I was dying to see. "Copani, you're my best friend. Do you have any idea how much I need you?"

"Apparently more than you need me." John Cena answered Adam's question for Mark.

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Things were really fucked up and I couldn't do shit about it. Fucking Kismet's ass still was no where in sight. You know, if TPTB were paying more attention to her and not me, maybe I wouldn't be trying to juggle myself between all of them and just concentrate on my man. Wait…I didn't mean it like, _my _man…I meant it like, my man as in _my _charge. You get what I'm saying, no?

So taking my mind off of Randy by visiting Mark didn't work. Not only was I still thinking about Randy, but now Mark, John, and Adam were in worse shape than before. Just so you know, I started a file on Kismet's lack of involvement. It might come in handy for when I need to cover my ass. And dealing with Randy, I'm sure that will be very soon. Although, having uncovered around him has proven to be most enjoyable in the past…

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"April? Seren? Beth? Dipity? Jenny? Fuck." Randy sat on the bed holding a bouquet of roses, slowly pulling off the petals with each name he called. I had no idea what the fuck he was doing, but he had this cute determined look on his face. It was amusing to me. "Matilda? Fuck no."

"What are you doing?" I didn't mean to speak…I thought I was thinking it. But apparently, I thought it loud enough for him to hear me.

Randy's head popped up and a large smile crossed his face. "There you are. I've been trying to think up a new name for you."

"I happen to like my name."

"I don't. Is it Italian? It doesn't matter. These are for you." Standing in the middle of the room, he held out two roses and ten stems in one hand and in the other hand, the petals that he had taken off. "You took too long, so I got bored. But you've got powers and shit, right? You can tape them back on or something."

It was completely juvenile, but the sweetest thing I had ever seen. "I can't tape petals back on flowers."

"You can't? Then what the fuck is the sense of having powers? Shit…if I had powers, I'd be doing all kinds of shit."

Walking over to the bed, I sat facing his back and let him resume his conversation into nothing. "What would you do with them?"

"Hmm. First, I'd bring back Blueberry Hubba-Bubba…that gum was the best. Then I'd make Frankenberry available all year round. I'd bring back Saturday morning cartoons and resurrect Tranzor Z and his girlfriend, Aphrodite…the one that had the missiles that shot out of her tits. Ooh, and Voltron…with the lions, not the cars."

"I know! The lions were the best. You won't believe this, but I had a lot to do with the creation of the pink lion." I couldn't believe it, he appreciated my work. "What about Transformers? Remember back when Optimus Prime was the leader of the Autobots and Rodimus Prime was the head of…"

"The Evil Decepticons." We both said in unison.

"That fucking Megatron is no match for Rodimus."

"Rotamus would kick Megatron's ass! He's a fucking pussy." With a dreamy smile Randy stood in the middle of the room nodding in agreement.

As much as I was enjoying talking about cartoons of the past, this was wrong. I shouldn't have found something to connect with him with. "Randy…come, sit. We need to talk."

"Will you let me see you?"

"Turn around." I did it again. For someone trying not to have a relationship with their charge, I sure as hell reveal myself to him a lot. "Is this what you want to see?" I made myself look like a fantasy pin-up girl, complete with big breasts and doe eyes.

"Nope. Try again."

I sat there, going through every memory of every woman he had ever been with. One of them had to be what he wanted. But each time I transformed, he turned me down. "Randy, I can't do this anymore. If we're going to find someone for you, you've got to help me. Tell me what you want?"

"Why can't you just be you?" He sat next to me and laid the roses on my lap and in my hand, his crushed petals. He had a sincerity in his voice when he looked at me; the _real_ me. "You're perfect for me."

I knew I should have stopped him, but I tell you, I'd never really felt his lips on mine before. In the past, I had always been in a vaporous state when I was with him. Transforming myself into human form…I thought it was going to be wonderful. But the one thing about being human, even if only for a short time, is I felt things that humans feel. I felt my heart do flips and my stomach drop when he kissed me. "This is wrong. I'm not perfect for you or anyone else. I'm not even the same species as you. You don't know the first thing about me."

"I don't need to." He laid me back on the bed and gently let his hand trail my robes. "Just love me…I promise I'll love you back."

The really scary part about that statement was the fact that I already did.

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So now you see why I need your help? Adam, John, and Mark are killing me. Kismet is fucking up. The Powers That Be are breathing down my neck. And to top it all off, now that I've slept with Randy, in human form…I'm going to lose my job and be banished to hell, or worse, Delaware. This is so much worse than how I fucked up with Adam. I may be divine, but I'm only a muse. I can only take so much. And unfortunately, I want to take something I can't have.

I don't know what to do, anymore. When I had problems with Adam before, you were wonderful with all of your advice _after_ the fact. I'm hoping that hindsight is not the only thing that is 20/20.

I'll be around, so don't stray too far. I've got to get myself out of this situation and fast. You know how to get in touch with me. Please do so, before it's too late.


	10. The Downside of Love

The Downside of Love

Well look who decided to join me? You know, I really can't believe you people. I pour my heart out, tell you how I thoroughly I fucked up, and damn near begged for your assistance, and what did I get? A bunch of well wishes for me and Randy? That's not what I was looking for. I need advice on how to get myself _out_ of this situation and you people are trying to convince me to go head long into it. You really don't understand what's at stake do you?

Now I know that I did a pretty good job of destroying my career on my own without your help. But I thought that I proved to you that I mean well. I thought that with everything that happened with Adam and now Randy that we've built some kind of rapport…a friendship if you will. I mistakenly thought that you all wanted me to keep my job. Apparently, you're just interested in me getting the best sex I've ever had in my life. Figures. You humans and your one track minds…

Since you haven't been any help whatsoever, I better not hear any complaints about what I did during my period of non-advice from the lot of you. I can't be held accountable when my human hormones are in control. I need guidance damn it and you'll see why in a minute.

Ok…let's cut to the chase, shall we? Randy decided he didn't want Mark, but wanted me instead, asked me to love him, then made love to me while I was in human form. I fell deeper in love with Randy, but my heart became more conflicted than ever. Mark wanted to leave to give Adam and John a fair try, but Adam forbade it and told Mark that he needed him. And John overheard the conversation and misinterpreted Adam's words to mean he wanted Mark.

See what I mean? I have absolutely no control over anything. Damn hormones…

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By the time Raw ended in Denver, Colorado, I had been in human form for nearly a week. It took some getting use to, but I think I handled it quite well. That whole concept of going to the bathroom and requiring sleep still took a little getting use to, but what didn't take any adjustment was the feel of Randy's body next to mine. It was getting entirely too serious too fast. Something had to be done about our lack of judgment before everyone around us suffered the consequences.

"So…I figure we could have about eight children; seven boys and one girl." Randy snuggled closer to me and draped his leg over mine. Just the feeling of his breath on my neck made me forget that I was supposed to be breaking things off with him.

His sudden vision of the future made me turn my head to look at him. He held no trace of humor in his comment. He was dead serious. "Randy, I can't have babies."

"That's okay. We could adopt some little angels. You know the kinds with wings that hold the trumpets, like in the paintings. Maybe we they could tour with Bradford Marsalis or something. I'd like to know how to play the trumpet. Maybe the baby angels could teach me." His face held such gentleness as if he felt sorry for me that I couldn't have children.

I couldn't help but to giggle. He really had no idea how we work in Heaven. "Cherubs. You'd be surprised, but they don't look anything like they do in the paintings." I laced my fingers through his and ran his knuckles over my lips. Being completely sated and spending a lazy afternoon under the sheets with him was about the best time I'd had since being in Saddam and Gomorrah and let me tell you, those were good times. "We don't have baby angels."

"Well, you were a baby once…"

"No. I was begotten, not made." How does one explain divine history to a moron? That, my friends, is a hard task. "Humans make their offspring. In Heaven, God decides that he wants an angel for certain purpose. My parents were chosen to raise muses. All of their children help humans with the creation of something. My sisters help with faith, or belief, or moments in time…we all have a purpose."

Randy scrunched his face. He could care less what purpose we served, only that we weren't children. "So if you weren't a baby, were you just born with a smoking hot body?"

"Yeah. From the time of my creation until now, I've looked exactly the same."

"So you could be like, three, but you look twenty-five?" Nodding his head, I peered into his mind and watched as he envisioned himself standing on the angel assembly line picking the ones he wanted to _teach_, and help raise up right.

Twenty-five. That was so long ago. "I'm over three thousand years old. And I've not aged a day."

"Holy shit. You look really good to be old. Do you get AARP? My dad does." I could tell by the look on his face that he was already formulating a plan. "How cool would this be? I could be like really old, like fifty. And I'd be all fat and bald and my teeth would be falling out, but I'd still have a smoking hot twenty year old angel on my arm. This falling in love shit is great!"

I tried to find the words to tell him that this couldn't work. But instead, I decided to try a different approach. I wanted to make him see that this was a bad idea on his own. "I doubt that I'll still know you when you're fifty. You are my charge. After I help you find love, then I'll be moving on. I'll get another assignment and have to help him. And you will be in love with a human woman and you'll forget all about me."

"But I don't want to be in love with a human woman. I wanna be in love with you." Randy sat up on the bed and turned to face me. He held such an unsure look in his eyes. It broke my heart. "What if we got married? If we got married, they couldn't give you another assignment."

"I can't marry you. It's against the rules." This should not be that hard to understand. We're two different species. "Randy, we are from two different worlds. There is a reason that I'm not supposed to ever talk to my charges or reveal myself and this is it. We can't be together. They won't allow it. Think about it. You can die, I can't. You require things to live, I don't. Your life is for the sole purpose of finding your purpose. My life is to guide you in that purpose. Nowhere do we exist on the same plane of reality. I'm an angel, from Heaven, you're a human. You can't become an angel and I can't become human. If we got married, where would we live?"

Randy thought about for a moment, and then he smiled. "In Switzerland."

God, he's stupid. But, I must admit, his stupidity was one of his most attractive qualities. "Switzerland? Why Switzerland?" Somehow, I knew I really didn't want to hear his logical explanation.

"Well…I'm human and I have to live on Earth, but you're from Heaven, which is in Europe. And by my estimation Heaven is somewhere around Prague, so the drive wouldn't be too hard for you to commute." Why does he talk? What cruel factory worker created a man with a body like his and forgot to add in the brains? "Plus I like Switzerland, they have nice watches and though their cheese is holey, it's great on a ham sandwich. And if we had sons they could join their army and I could get a bunch of free knives…and let's not forget their Miss. They have the best fucking Miss."

"Miss?" I've learned when talking to Randy to just sit there and listen. Usually I could figure out what he was talking about, no matter how wrong it was. But Miss? I was completely stumped.

"Yeah, Miss. I don't know why they just don't call it Cocoa though." He shrugged as if the Swiss had completely missed the mark on naming that product.

I can't believe I was playing along. "Ahh…Swiss Miss. It _is_ rather tasty."

"So what do you think? We could live in Switzerland, you could drive to Heaven everyday, I could have ham and cheese and drink Miss on the porch looking at my new watch and reading your copies of AARP until you come home…it would be a like a fucking fairytale."

If that was his idea of fairytale, he was worse off than I thought. "As tempting as that sounds, it wouldn't work. You have to understand, you can't fall in love with me."

"You just don't want to fall in love with me. You're just as bad as they are. Women don't want me…fucking Copani doesn't. And now I'm pissing off angels? What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm not a bad guy." Randy got up from the bed and pulled on his shorts. "Well you know what? If you don't wanna be with me, don't. I don't need you or your fucking help. So what was this for? Is this part of your job? Do you become human to all the guys you work with and fuck them into falling love with you, too? I thought I was supposed to trust you. I told what I wanted and you can't fucking deliver. You fucking suck at your job. Just wait, when they send the survey on if you were a good angel or not…I'm gonna flame your ass."

"Randy…" I watched as he threw his shirt over his head and grabbed his tennis shoes from under the bed. "Please…let me explain."

"Save it. Go tell your other angel friends that you did what you came here for. You made a fucking joke of me on Earth and in Heaven, too. Have a safe drive back to Europe." Before I could another word in edgewise, he had slammed the door behind him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now I know what you're thinking. I should have gone after him, no? Well I didn't and I'll tell you why. Randy's mouth may have been saying harsh things, but his heart was broken. I knew I was irresistible, but I didn't know that he found me _that_ irresistible.

I needed to give him time to cool down; let him figure out for himself that this thing between us could never work and couldn't continue. Even if I wished it could, I'm a muse. Our wishes don't mean squat up there.

Anyway, while Randy was around doing God knows what, I decided to check in on Mark. The morbidly curious side of me was just dying to know what happened between he and John, and boy am I glad I came in when I did.

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Mark leaned against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. Talking to John Cena was never comfortable for him before, now things were just down right hostile. It should have gotten better. John had what Mark wanted and Mark had decided not to pursue it anymore. That still wasn't enough for John. "So what do you want me to do?"

"Leave him the fuck alone." He felt childish requesting it, but he really didn't know what else to do. "You told me that you were giving up. I know that y'all are boys, but you can't be his boy when you got feelings for him."

Knitting his brows, Mark bit the inside of his lip to prevent himself from losing his temper. "Are you telling me to stay away from my best friend? What kind of high school bullshit is that? Who the fuck are you?"

"You want him to be happy, right? Give me that fucking chance…"

"You had your fucking chance and since he's been with you, all you've done is manage to fuck it up. I told you before; you better make sure that Smiles smiles all the fucking time. Well I ain't seen a fucking smile on his face _since_ y'all got back together." Mark was frustrated by this time. This conversation was going nowhere. "You don't get it do you? Smiles' happiness is all that I'm concerned about. I don't give a fuck what that means for you."

"How the fuck can you expect him to be happy when every five minutes, you're trying to turn him against me, or you're up in his fucking face?" John moved closer to Mark in an aggressive manner. "I'm only gonna tell you this one more time. Leave him alone."

I wanted to intervene, really I did. But I couldn't; neither Mark nor Adam were my charges. Let's face it, I was already fucking up my own up…or was I just fucking my own charge? Either way, I wasn't doing a very good job.

"I don't believe you." Adam rounded the corner just in enough time to hear John threaten Mark. Had it really come to this? Was this what a relationship with John was going to be like? The constant jealousy, the constant arguing? They had a wonderful relationship until Mark came back. Now the problem was did Adam chose Mark who was his friend, who had been there through everything, to save his relationship? Or did Adam choose John, the man that he loved and desperately wanted to make a relationship work with? "I told you before, Copani ain't going nowhere."

"What the fuck you expect me to do Adam? You ain't doing shit about the situation. This shit is hard…where's the fucking pay off?" John was at his wits end. It had come down to this. "I gave you a decision to make before and you wouldn't fucking make it. So it's either him or me."

"Why don't you trust me? I haven't done anything."

Mark's heart broke. He couldn't stand to see Adam hurting, especially by the hands of John Cena, but he wasn't going to intervene. This was a conversation that was between them. He had vowed to stay out of it. He was going to leave to give them time to work out there problems, but now that John had confronted him he was tempted to stay just for spite.

John threw up his hands in disbelief. How could Adam not see why he didn't trust him? "It's only a matter of time. I see the way he looks at you. It didn't bother me at first, but it does now because you look at him the same damn way."

"John…I'm with you. I know that. But I can't take much more of this. This jealousy shit? It's grating on my fucking nerves. I haven't done anything, but you keep acting like this and I will just to shut you up." It wasn't like Adam had proven to be the most faithful person in his past. He was trying. I know he was trying.

Mark turned to leave, but John wasn't having that. "No…you need to stay for this shit. This is what you want, right? You wanna see me and him in the mix so you can be the fucking shoulder he cries on. You need to stick around because I'm sure he's gonna have a fucking river to cry in a minute and I don't want him to have to find your ass."

"Fuck you, Cena. Maybe if you weren't always fucking up, he wouldn't have to come to me with your bullshit."

"Stop it!" Adam was sick of it. He was sick of John arguing about nothing. He was sick of Mark taking cheap shots for no reason. It was getting ridiculous.

Turning his attention to Mark, John looked the bronze man in the eye. "Do you want him?"

"I'm not answering that."

"Answer the fucking question. Do you have feelings for him still? Do you want to be with Adam?" When Mark didn't answer, John turned his eyes to Adam. "Do you have feelings for Copani?"

Just the look of heartache on Adam's face was enough to send Mark over the edge. "Cena…I suggest you back the fuck off."

"The bodyguard to the rescue. Well how about this…neither one of you wanna admit that you want each other, so I'm gonna make the choice for you. Copani…he's all yours. I'm done. It's fucking over." John walked away leaving a stunned Adam standing there.

Adam couldn't believe it. Just like that, John ended things for no reason at all. He hadn't once done anything to allude that he was going to be unfaithful. Sure, he had unresolved feelings for Mark, but he didn't act on them. He was determined to be happy with John; to make it work. But John had just given up. And he wasn't the type to say something and not follow through on it.

"Smiles?" Mark approached his friend cautiously, just needing to know if he was alright.

Shaking his head, Adam bit back tears and walked away, leaving Mark alone.

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So there you have it. You don't help me and everything falls to shit. Thank you for all of your support. I've got to figure this Randy thing out and then I can fix this fuck up with Mark, Adam, and John.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm on my way to find Kismet and whip her ass. All the hard work I put in to getting John and Adam together just fell apart. If you read about Kismet not working for humans anymore, it's because I've put her ass in the Intensive Care Unit.

I'll talk to you again when I get time. That is, if I'm not serving it, for beating a muse down.


	11. Clean Up Crew

_A/N: I suck, I know. I had this ¾ the way written for about 4 months and just never went back to finish it. I think there's going to be one more chapter, it'll be kinda long, to sum it all up. Thanks for your patience. Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

You know what's really hard? To know that you've fucked up, come to your "friends" for advice and find that they are no fucking help, whatsoever. I don't really blame the lot of you for the bit of trouble I've gotten myself into. Let's face it, _I_ can't even figure how to get myself out of it and I'm divine. What did I really expect humans to do?

I really think after this whole Randy assignment is over, I'm going to take a leave of absence. I really think I'm starting to lose my touch. I used to be able to withstand anything. I could fuck with the humans for a little bit, and never once did I lose sight of my goal. I never got personally involved.

I don't get it. I've helped some of the greats. _I_ was the one that told Caesar that haircut looked good on him. _I _convinced Thomas Jefferson that Sally Hemmings was the woman for him. _I _was the one that gave Linda Lovelace the idea to try deep throating. I encouraged John Mapplethorpe to buy his first camera…Hell, if you really want to get technical, I was the one behind the success of The New Kids on the Block. I've worked with some of the greats, and turned a lot of dolts into superstars…all I had to do was help one guy find love. It shouldn't have been that hard. But I guess, all it takes is one brainless moron, and a few mind numbing orgasms and centuries worth of muse work goes straight down the drain.

Since meeting Randy, I have no control over my charges. I'm making careless mistakes and interfering with charges that aren't even mine. I'm sleeping with the man I'm supposed to be helping. And you know what's worse than that? I fell in love. Head long and hard…up to my eyeballs in warm and tingly feelings, fell in love. Who in the hell made me a muse?

Well, seeing as how I've given up on the idea of you helping me with this, I still think that this would go a lot easier if we were all on the same page. If you'll remember, I revealed myself to Randy and morphed into human form for the purpose of sex. I know it's wrong and I'm not proud of it. Moving on… after a week of carnal pleasure I declined his would be proposal and he got pissed and stormed out. And if that wasn't bad enough, Mark told Adam he was leaving and then John turned around and left Adam because he thought the wanted Mark.

See what I mean? Muses are supposed to guide, not fuck things up. But I'll tell you this much, if The Powers That Be call me on these little indiscretions, I'm blaming it all on Freewill.

* * *

One of the advantages to being invisible is that I can follow anybody and they never know I'm there. Now I know that sounds like stalking, but I call it doing my job to the letter. I was employed to make sure that Randy fell in love, so if that meant that I had to watch him twenty-four hours a day…while he ate, slept, and showered…those dark moments alone in his hotel room when his hand absently ran down his abs and landed beneath the covers, and that the thin sheen started to form on his brow and his breathing became labored…yeah, I was going to privy to all of that.

Well, it just so happens that never got to the good stalking, I mean "following", him part. No, I caught up with him the damn gym, when he was fully dressed. I knew damn well Randy could hear me calling his name, because he kept running faster on the treadmill. "Randy, talk to me."

Punching another button on the machine, he increased his speed and continued to look straight ahead. I hate when he gets like this. He really doesn't show anger very often, but when he does it's really immature.

"If you don't talk to me, I'm going to go away. For real this time. I'll be gone and you'll never hear from me again." I wasn't really going to go anywhere. I couldn't, not until my assignment was over, only he didn't need to know that.

Pressing the button to stop the treadmill, Randy stepped off the machine and smiled when a brunette walked passed him. "Orton." She said with a smile, instantly making me want to rip her face off.

"Candice." He smiled back, looking at her as if she were a steak. "You got plans tonight?" When she shook her head, he dared to open his mouth to speak again. "Good, cause now you do."

"Oh really? And what am I doing?" I hate it when women play coy and bat their stupid eye lashes and twirl their dumb hair around their fingers. Did Randy really think this was going to work? Did he think he could make me jealous?

I'm a muse, I don't get jealous. But, damn if my cheeks didn't feel hot when he got closer to that Candice woman. You know, if I were a lesser muse, I could convince her that that little itch she'd been feeling on her top lip was a result of the evening she'd spent with Dave Batista. But I'm not that shallow, I won't stoop that low. But, if you happen to watch her on television and notice a big ass blister…it's not a cold sore.

"Me." Randy touched her bare shoulder and shot up his brow waiting for her to protest. "It's been too long, Candy. We got a lot of catching up to do." Moving closer to Candice, Randy wrapped an arm around her. Leaning down to whisper in her ear, I could sense the dread overcoming him. "A whole lot."

Who was he fooling? He didn't want to spend the night with her any more than I wanted him to. "Randy. This is stupid."

"We can go to the movies…" His voice started to rise as if he was trying to drown me out. Now we both know that I'm a muse. I can't be ignored. But I'll admit, I was having field day watching him try. "Then I can take you to dinner…"

"Is this really necessary?" I asked him louder to make sure that he heard me.

Rolling his eyes, he pressed his lips right next to Candace's ear. "AND THEN YOU CAN COME BACK TO MY ROOM AND PLAY WITH THE LITTLE LEGEND." I wish you could've seen the look on her face. I wish you could've seen the look on the faces of everyone in the gym. From the deafening silence and the sudden cessation of all the weight machines, everyone was holding out for her response.

You know, for a woman that spends so much time in the tanning bed, she turned lobster red in a matter of seconds. "Um…yeah. Look Randy, I think I might be busy, later. I'll let you know, okay?" With a pat to his chest, Candice walked away.

I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't happy that she left. But I knew she wasn't the one for him. But was she not the one for him because I didn't want her to be? That is truly one of life's great mysteries. "Now, is this tantrum of yours over?" I asked watching as he snatched his towel from the machine that he had once been on and made his way to the locker-room. As if that would stop me. I had been trying to catch him naked for a few days. I wanted him to go in. I could have gotten a glance at a few other hard-bodies at the same time. "Randy, you can't ignore me forever."

"Oh yeah," he whipped around facing the soda machine and pointed a finger at it. Had I actually been standing there, I would have thought that he was serious. But seeing as how I was standing behind him, I really couldn't feel threatened. "You've done nothing but fucked me up since you came around. It was all fine and dandy when all you use to do is touch me in my sleep. It was cool, I was down for it. But NOOOOOOO, you had to start talking to me with that voice. And then you had to show me what you looked like. Then you just had to make me fall in love with you…"

I've watched Randy on his show a few times and believe you me, I never thought he could act before. But he certainly does have a flair for the dramatics. "You're not in love with me, Randy! You only think you are."

"I loved you! You can't make me fall in love with you and then use that 'I'm an angel and we can't be together' bullshit excuse. It's the oldest one in the book" What the hell books has he been reading?

He leaned against the door to the lockerroom and looked right at were I was standing. That's not a good sign. That only proved that my fear was right. He was becoming too involved with me. He could sense me even when invisible. Oh, I really fucked this up.

"Randy." I said moving away from his line of vision and I'll be damned if his eyes didn't follow me.

"You know, I may not be that smart, but I know bullshit when I hear it. And right now you're talking so much shit you should be writing it down on toilet paper. You love me April and your too fucking scared to admit it."

I had to stand back because I had no idea what he was talking about. I wasn't full of shit. I wasn't lying. He wasn't in love with me. He couldn't be. He shouldn't be. But what if he was? And why the fuck does he insist on calling me April? I hate that name.

* * *

This was so far beyond a fuck up, I don't think there's a name for it. If the amount of my fuck up did have a name, it would probably be called Serendipity.

That's it. I Serendipitied. And it's not like I never made mistakes before. Just not anything of this magnitude that I can remember. I've been doing this job for thousands of years, you would think that I could have helped Randy fall in love without getting involved. What the hell was I thinking?

The truth is, I wasn't thinking. It's kind of hard to think when your staring face to thighs with that body. Those lips, thighs, eyes, thighs, chest, and thighs, and his…well, the part just above his thighs, who would expect me to be able to think with that much distraction?

Speaking of a distraction, I decided that's what I needed. So to add insult to injury, I figured I needed to check out how my other major fuck up was going. Well, that's not really _my_ fuck up. You know if I play this right, I could blame Kismet for the whole bloody thing. I could tell TPTB that I was so distraught over Kismet fucking up John and Adam that I made a mistake in sleeping with Randy.

The Traumatic Reaction Defense that has been used by lesser muses than myself. Some of them got off easy. Take Luck she got off easy. All she had to do for punishment was convince Jessica Alba that she could act. I know it sounds like torture, but it could have been a lot worse.

* * *

I wasn't the only one who dropped the ball, so in an attempt to make myself feel better I decided to check to see just how bad of a job Kismet was doing. I just wanted to compare damange, if you know what I mean. Surely I couldn't have been doing as badly as she was. Boy, was I wrong.

Adam tried the knob on Mark's hotel room door quietly and stood there looking at the other man's back. He hadn't meant to dismiss him the way he did, but he needed to process everything. John had left him, told him it was over, for no reason. All Adam was doing was telling Mark that he couldn't survive without his best friend, yet John somehow took that as a betrayal. And to make it worse, now Mark wouldn't even turn around to face him.

Mark raised his head toward the ceiling and closed his eyes. He knew it was Adam. He could sense his presence…smell his cologne. He couldn't take it anymore. This was the right thing to do. He stepped around the bed and made his way to the bathroom to retrieve a few items, making sure not to look into Adam's hazel eyes.

"What are you doing?" Adam walked in the room and grabbed the toothbrush out of Mark's hand. This was what he didn't want to happen. It was too much to take in in one day.

Mark simply held his hand out toward Adam for his possessions back. He didn't want this fight, again. He had made up his mind; this was best for everyone. "Smiles, come on. I gotta cab coming."

"No!" Adam walked over to the suit case and dumped the contents on the bed. He didn't care if Mark had Vince McMahon himself was coming to pick him up, he wasn't letting him go. "You're not leaving. You can't leave!"

"I can't do this anymore. I can't stand by and watch you with _him_. I can't stand to see the look on your face knowing that you're not with _him_. Everything with you is about _HIM_!" Snatching his toothbrush out of Adam's hand, he stuffed it into the side pocket of his suitcase.

Adam picked up the suitcase and threw it across the room. Mark wasn't leaving him. No matter what, he wasn't going to allow it. "You said that my happiness was important to you. This doesn't make me happy Copani."

"What the hell do you want from me, Adam?" All of us took a step back at hearing Mark say Adam's name. He never called Adam by his name, but he was trying to make a point. "I can't keep putting myself through this. For months I've sat back and watched. For months I sat home and wondered. And I'll be God damned if I'm not back here doing this same shit again. As long as I'm here I'm gonna have to see you always wanting him. And as long as I'm here, I'm always gonna want you. I want you to be happy, Smiles. I really do. But, I want to be happy, too. And I can't make sure that you're alright if I'm fucking torn up inside."

It was at that moment that I was ready to punch Adam in the face. I knew that Mark was going through it, but I had no idea it was this bad. This was his last ditch effort. This was his one grip at happiness. I felt so bad for him.

"I'm sorry. I never meant it to get this far." Adam placed his hands on Mark's shoulders and leaned his forehead into his. For just a moment he closed his eyes and tried to process how to say what was on his mind. When he opened his eyes and saw up close the pain behind Mark's chocolate orbs, he let out a huff. "For so long, you've been the one constant thing in my life. No matter what I was going through, you were always here." Taking a step back from Mark, Adam turned to sit on the bed. He folded his arms and rested them on them on his knees. "No matter what I did to you, you were always here. I don't know to handle you not being here."

Well why the hell didn't he appreciate it before? I almost screamed it out to him, but with the way my luck has been going they may have heard me. So, instead I did the only other thing I could do. I thought my question really hard in Mark's direction.

"Then why do you treat me like he treats you?"

Adam's brows came together in confusion. He opened his mouth to answer and then closed it quickly. Licking his lips carefully, he finally spoke. "What are you talking about?"

"Carrying you around like you're on a string. Giving you just enough to make you want him, but always pulling back. Making you beg for his attention…doing whatever it takes for him to notice you. Getting just enough to make sure you don't leave…" The tears rolled down Mark's cheek and he wiped them away quickly. "That's how he treats you. That's how you treat me. It's like you have to break me because he's always breaking you."

"Copani, I didn't….I don't…Oh my God." And then, even I was surprised. I think for the first time, Adam really got it. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to…the last thing I would want is for you to know what it feels like to want to be with someone so bad that you become someone else to be with them." Adam turned his head to the right when Mark took a seat next to him. This was probably the last chance he'd ever have to tell Mark how he felt. "Before it just about getting John to admit that he loved me. But these few months, it's been about everything to make that he doesn't stop. I don't get to enjoy being with him because I'm trying so hard to keep him. He loves me, but not the way I need him to. But I'm so afraid to let him go."

"I know what that's like. It's how I feel about you."

"You know hurts the most? Everything I tried so hard to hold onto…my relationship with him, my friendship with you…I managed to fuck both of them up. I fought so hard for a relationship that wasn't going anywhere and fought against the one that I knew would be good for me. I'm sorry." Sniffing back the emotion that came across in his voice touched his hand to Mark's.

I wanted them to be together, but I wanted Mark to do what was best for him. Why in the hell was love so hard? If people just listened to their muses and did what we said, it wouldn't be so complicated. Oh, but wait, Adam's muse flaked out on him, didn't she? Kismet. That cunt faced whore.

"Can you ever love me?" Mark asked quietly, placing his hand on Adam's.

Adam interlocked his fingers with Mark's and raised it to his lips. "I already do. But it's too late now. You're leaving."

"Well…I haven't exactly left yet." A teary smile crossed Mark's lips. That's all he ever wanted, was for Adam to love him. "We gotta figure this thing out, Smiles. Because I'm not gonna be your doormat anymore. I'm not watch you fall all over him or be your second choice. When you decide what you want, come see me."

* * *

Well, one out of two ain't bad, is it? So Randy's mad at me…really, can you blame him? At least Mark and Adam seem to be on the right path. Now the question is, will Adam be able to convey this to John?

Fucking Kismet! Doesn't she know that I have my own shit to fix? How in the hell does she expect me to do all of this shit on my own?


End file.
